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BITE user comments - kmcs

Comments by kmcs

The Honest Cabbage, Kingston Upon Thames

Good place to take a leak, although may be more second than first date territory.

7 Jun 2007 11:52

The George II, Luton

My rabbi and I found this place after asking a local cabbie for a "The best pub in Dunstable..."

Marvellous scratchings.

7 Jun 2007 11:49

B@1 (Be At One), Battersea

Good Guinness.

Straighta outa Clapham,..comes Ridiculous C,
Never-ever mess with a mutha like me,
Im T to the O to the mutha fcking P,
Pinot Grigio please Martha sweetie.

6 Jun 2007 10:34

The Duke of York, Kings Cross station

Ok for a quick pint in the toilets.

25 May 2007 16:07

The Penderel's Oak, Holborn

Beggars belief this tip. South African bar "manager", poured me a pint the other day, and the barrel went off when he had done about 2/3 of it,..he clocked me, to see if i had noticed,..obviously presumed not,..pumped the head a bit to froth it up,..and then came over and served it,...fcking funny,..ludicrous tit,...Reckon he thought i was a tourist or amateur!....God knows how many people get palmed off with this dross in here, knowing no better!

When i told him that id like it filled up, he gave an audible sigh,..and moaned like a spoilt teenager how that, in order to finish the pint he would have to change the barrel,..and *sigh* "did i really want to wait?" "Yes,..yes i do" i said,..and he flounced on down to the cellar,...i in turn,..flounced on out!

8 Nov 2006 12:11

The Duchess of Kent, Barnsbury

You know those nights when you get in from work and all you wanna do, is queue at a bar in a ponced up pub, for half an hour or so, and then settle down to a nice game of connect 4 amongst a group of braying plebs. No, me neither.

31 Oct 2006 11:19

The Melton Mowbray, Holborn

Like an Irish Tardis this one,...looks big from the street don't it,..!

9 Oct 2006 15:15

The Spotted Bull, Hemel Hempstead

Boarded up at the moment. Please someone tell me that its down to some kinda accident involving the car park bungee jumping! Please,....

25 Sep 2006 16:39

Tiger Tiger, Piccadilly Circus

Doesnt work (both literally and metaphorically), on so many levels. Grrrrrrr ubbish. Type of place where the buzzed in monkeys take photos of themselves queueing.

"Here we are "up town" for Candices' 20th,...we were already well tanked up in this one!..was that the night you pulled that Paulo, Trace?"

25 Sep 2006 16:33

The Bolt Hole, Cannon Street

Ok ladies, now,..if you will insist on using the nauseating phrase "does what it says on the tin!", least make it relevant. Here, its relevant, this place is a "bolthole",..i.e. a safe haven in the middle of nowhere,..i.e. just off that nothingness that is Upper Thames St, does what its says on the tin, in the same way that "Two fruities" does in Stepney,..or "Rank shitters" in Blackheath. This is a cellar wine bar off one of the main arteries through the city,..down a spiral staircase,..its dark and serves no draft beer. Ever read that book "Perfume" when the little Grenouille chap fcks off and lives in a cave in the middle of nowhere for a few years,.......You could probably get away with a couple similar weeks here,..if you had your credit cards on ya.

5 Sep 2006 15:43

The Green, Willesden Green

This place would fold faster than Superman on Laundry Day if there were but one iota of competition in the area. Its mediocre to the max,..but unfortuately, if you are in the company of any (shithole phobic) ladies, then you are fcked in Willesden and are forced in here,..dispicable.

1 Sep 2006 12:58

Point 101, Bloomsbury

"All, please join me for my 30th Birthday at Point 101 nr Ox Circ,..dress code, cocktails, music blah, blah, blah,..should be a good night,..hope to see you all here."............This is the type of place that makes you take a real good look at yourself and think about the friends you have made in your life.

(Brought i pint with a Twenty in here once and was given 2 pound change. Ooooooooh what a palava,...!)

Monday morning meeting:

"And where were you on saturday, i might ask?!"

"Ah,...Rupa,..i was meaning to apologise about that, sorry,..i just couldn't make it,...i was,..erm,...matching some socks....!"

31 Aug 2006 13:18

The Gunnersbury, Chiswick

"the John Bulls a hit!" ,..............Fcking keyboard giving me typo's!..Sorry, forget about that "a" and take out the spaces.

Rank..i spoke to my astonaut uncle about this gaff, and he told me that the atmosphere here reminded him of that little walk he took in the sea of tranquility.

30 Aug 2006 15:44

Ceili On The Green, Willesden Green

Ok, its a big shit sandwich, but we all gotta take a bite! I reckon this is the pecking order in Willesden:

Ceili On The Green - normal boozer
Flynns - normal (deserted) boozer
McGoverns - Irish
Angies III - Irish (see I and II) - Craicless
The Green - Wants-to- but fails-to-, anything
Ned Kelly's - Australian "mate"
The Basket and Brief - Intimidating (mostly empty)
The Spotted Dog - Shit?! - this baby ticks all boxes
Lulas - Lairy as fck.

Drinking round here is a bit like being cornered down an alley and being asked where you'd like to be hit,..You'd take a chinese burn over a broken nose,...."better than a kick in the nuts" an all that nonsense.

29 Aug 2006 12:52

All Bar One, Canary Wharf

Well,..that interview went appallingly...ho hum,..."Excuse me mate, is there a normal boozer around here?"

"Nope, theres the All Bar One over there mate......"

"Yeah, yeah, i saw that,...erm,...Nowhere else,..i mean i don't mind walking a bit, know,..just a boozer,..a sh ithole,...?"

"Nope,..thats your lot mate,...........get on the tube."

24 Aug 2006 12:37

The Famous 3 Kings (F3K), West Kensington

Like the idea of having "The Famous" actually in the name of the gaff,..One way to get a rep i guess,..better than saying "The mediocre cavernous sports themed tip" (which it is),,.Gonna take that on board when i finally open my "yet to be decided" themed sh ithole. May call it "The fcking brilliant, such and such" or "The unbelievably good, thingy bar"...........I shall, of course be the self styled "Bum" to rival Paul Ince's self named "Guvnor"....

23 Aug 2006 14:28

The Euston Flyer, Euston

Looked ideal when i peered in through the windows the other day,..dark,.coupla fruities,...plenty of discrete seating, braying tools, or bearded fools,..Made my way to the door and realised that it was closed down for a refurb after a smash-up,..Coulda been a contender,..Toad was gutted as well,..had to adjourn to that French gaff,.L'O'Neills next door!

21 Aug 2006 14:14

Ye Olde Swiss Cottage, Swiss Cottage

I remember being in Las Vegas and overhearing a yank bird descibe the Venetian hotel as "Exactly like" Venice,..Italy. We'll along these lines,..this place is "Exactly like", a Swiss Cottage,......I've never been to Switzerland,..and i doubt that young Mary-Lou-Porky-Sue even owned a passport...

This is just a Sam Smiths boozer on a roundabout.

21 Aug 2006 12:30

The Hog's Head, Smithfields

Sarky aussie barman.

Only myself to blame,..suppose you deserve what you get if you wander in here, bland as fck.

In my defence, im still getting used to this new medication.

17 Aug 2006 15:10

The Globe, Baker Street

I don't mind this gaff, but, "Lovely from the front",...! Your night vision goggles musta been steamed up Sassy!

14 Aug 2006 11:03

The Tom Cribb, Piccadilly

Too small, if you smoke and don't get a seat you're fcked.

"No smoking at the bar" means you are effectively constrained in a "one by five" metre space, in the hinterland between the bar and the tables - nowhere to rest your pint,.you end up as part of a queue of people standing in a line down the centre of the pub,..holding pints in one hand,..fag in the other, phone under your armpit,..newspaper atween your legs,...looks like some kind of sex offender registery, may as well ban smoking all together here and be done with it..........cack

8 Aug 2006 14:11

The Goose at the Castle, Blackfriars

Yes,..yes it has reopened,..and its one of the most ludicrous refits ever,....fcking brilliantly cack. You ever see that episode of changing rooms where the women opens her eyes and goes ballistic,..fcking wicked?

"Ok Piers, just to recap, gave us 200K of your hard earned trust-fund money to take over this lease and create for you, from what was a shithole, a trendy London bar, based in London's Blackfriars,...well, said you'd give us a free reign,...and i think you'll be pleasantly surprised with what we've done! Ok, peeking,...ready,........Ta da.............!"

"Tabatha, up the scooter,..we're outa here,........Oh,...the humanity!"

28 Jul 2006 12:02

The Clachan, Soho

Yep, to be honest, the last review is right. What the fck is the point of having a bar that runs the full circle of the gaff and then only serving on one side,,...with no sign to indicate that this is the modus operandi? I am not necessarily that sympathetic to tourists but i had to feel for the Spaniards who waited for nigh on half an hour to be served in the back half the other night, before they realised it was a fruitless endeavour and had to move round. The staff couldn't give a sh it, they are cnuts in here!

26 Jul 2006 15:11

The Pitcher and Piano, Bishopsgate

Ah, the P & P! Frequented by simple folk with simple pleasures,..earthy, salt-of-the-earth types,.strong, home counties values and beliefs, know,..morons.

26 Jul 2006 11:37

The Royal Exchange, Paddington

Thats fcking funny that photo! Hearing the name "Royal Exchange", imagines somewhere quite grandiose........This place is a std London boozer, a semi shithole, a fcking pit,..i love it.

Its like calling one of those "Anything for a pound" gaffs, "Harrods."

26 Jul 2006 11:33

The Slug and Lettuce, Fulham

CheekySheperd, you are spot on Pal. This is a great place for southern hem travellers to meet, chew the fat, slowly unwind, and discuss all the marvellous cultural experiences they have had since arriving in Europe. The piss up in Shep Bush, the memory loss evening in Earls Court, the BBQ in Willesden, the shag on Kilburn High Road etc etc.

13 Jul 2006 10:27

The Swan, Bank

Less is more,..minimalist approach here. As you'll see from the photo,..its very easy to walk straight through this gaff.

13 Jul 2006 10:21

Ratskeller Hausbrauerei, Darmstadt

Good gaff, but you probably should make it your first port of call on any crawl. You dont wanna be fcking around trying to pronounce the name of this gaff to the cab driver, when you are already a few hendels to the good (wind)!

10 Jul 2006 16:39

The Sutton Arms, Barbican

Dunno whether the landlord has changed since i was there,..but my experience (of asking for a glass of the house red,.. and being given the second most expensive wine on the menu (6.75 a glass)), did leave a bit of a sour taste!

10 Jul 2006 16:25

The Artillery Arms, Old Street

Whooooooooooooooa, lets slow down people! Its ok, but its only ok in comparison to the competition,..(ABO, Hog shed, P & P etc), basically,.. its a rinky dink boozer, a rinky dink boozer, everybody loves a boozer thats,.........I havent thought this through,.. but you get my point. Small and ok'ish.....

5 Jul 2006 16:41

The Sheeps Heid Inn, Duddingston

I don't care what you and Arthur got up to, or indeed, wish to know anything about what you were doing with the sheeps hide. Lets keep to the point, nice cosy pub with big crisps.

3 Jul 2006 14:59

The Green Man, Bank

Professionals choice for "Breakfast" this,...oh, and if you actually wanna eat, they do serve a wicked fry-up for 1.99 before noon...(for the later starters amongst you....)

3 Jul 2006 11:18

Harrys, Hemel Hempstead

Oh yeah,..rough as arseholes in here. Btw is that you Patrick, my long lost brother? Its been years since i last saw you in church...

30 Jun 2006 12:19

Waxy's Little Sister, Piccadilly Circus

"as someone who earns many muliples of the average industrial wage", i dont particularly like this place - flat Fosters. Not so much "little sister" more "embarrassing uncle"

30 Jun 2006 12:16

The Elgin, Ladbroke Grove

Bonjour Andre, hmmmm,..dunno where to start on your comments really! Maybe it would be simpler if you re-read my reviews. The last thing i am, is an advocate of gastro pubs and,.. ffs "heavenly world of cookies and cream",..dunno where you pulled that one from! I'm saying the gaff is ok, despite being semi-ponced - and yeah, i like the fact that it still feels like a place for locals despite.....

My only negative point was that yeah, since it still maintains a local feel,..there is still the potential for aggro. You are welcome to kick around in the bogs and prove me wrong if you like,..just let me know what hospital you end up in,...and i'll bring you down a rosy posy!

27 Jun 2006 15:53

The Prince of Wales, Maida Hill

Every bar person in London should be forced to undergo training in this gaff - This is how you should work behind a bar! I've seen one geezer on his own back there, serving two people at the bar whilst taking orders from about 3 others behind at the same time.....Slick. This is just a normal/local Irish boozer, but fck me, if I were gasping for a pint on a friday night and was faced with the choice of here or any of the gastroed holes in the area!,..Well,..Choice ya say!,...It aint no choice at all!

26 May 2006 15:47

The Bell, Cannon Street

Rammo to the max apres travaille. No chance Jose, if you are after quick service you have fat way!

26 May 2006 13:31

The London Stone, Cannon Street

"as a vivisectionist i can confidently say that this boozer is too hot."

The air conditioning is now fully operational,..this boozer is now too cold.

26 May 2006 13:29

The Walmer Castle, Notting Hill

Nothing special, its a bit of a March from any tube and odds on are, you won't get a seat,..does that Thai food shit etc etc. They used to have some huge colourful comedy seats out front which inspired some interest but,..overall, no,, don't bother with this gaff...

23 May 2006 15:12

The Jack Horner, Tottenham Court Road

Yep, its ok this gaff. Dunno why i like it, cos nothing in particular really stands out though?,...Maybe its good, cos its the first reasonable looking boozer you come across when you are trying to escape the mayhem around Tott Court rd tube. Full of tourists, but thats no biggie, and never rammo like the tottenham. Dispicable bogs, as is, "de riguer" in the locale!

23 May 2006 10:14

The Prince Of Wales, Kilburn

Its a funny old game this aint it, im sure ive confused pubs in past reviews, and surely this is what has happened here,......pricey! - Don't think so mate, this is the boozer right next to Kilburn Park Tube yeah?! Proper locals gaff, where,..(and i love this),...where you are free to "top up your tops" at anytime, from the bottles of R Whites that are left on the bar. Nice.

19 May 2006 12:37

The Arbitrager, Bank

People that drink in here are free thinkers, loose cannons, rebels,...they don't fly straight, do things their way,..and they deffo don't follow the crowd,...they're a bit whooa,..a bit wheey,..geezers,..philosophers,..sharpshooters and go-getters Where better on a glorious summers day then, than downstairs at the Arbitrager,..where it looks like a cellar undergoing some extensive refurbishment. Get a Magners and a sweat on, admire the upended table and the impotent ceiling fans, and allow yourself to feel quietly satified.......Satisfied that you are in good company with like minded social retards,..and at least not outside the Smug and Lettuce or in a "Jamies", with the rest of the city lemming set.

12 May 2006 11:22

The Elgin, Ladbroke Grove

Nah, not getting confused about the venue, but yeah, i was talking about the previous incarnation. This gaff has been semi-gastroed-up and yeah it is less rough now,..but "bearing scars" is right! I like the fact that the poncy stick has not succeeded in totally driving out the locals here,..and,..if you've gotta moment,..its probably one of the few London pubs where you could pay over the odds for some pseudo pesto pap in candelight, on the fruity,.have a chat to Tabatha and Rocket....and still get threatened with a knife in the (consistently rank) bogs!,..As a side point here guys,..The Elgin has got it sussed here re keeping the fruities - despite unleashing the gastro kit,...come on kids,..lets spare a thought for the fruities!

9 May 2006 15:14

Ye Olde London, St Pauls

I've been in this gaff 3 times now, outa desperation, on those days when i have to work in the city on a Saturday (of which this is one!), and have left on each occasion without being served! I cannot tell you what a dispicable cnut that landlord is! He just left me for a good ten minutes, standing in front of him with a tenner in my hand, whilst he perused some supposedly vital paperwork, whilst slumped across the bar! After about the 4th or 5th minute i asked him whether it would be possible to get a pint at any point, and he said "Yeah, in a minute" and got back to examining his slip of paper,.......fcking w anker! Now normally, in this situation, i would wait it out, order my drink, and fck off without paying, once it had been poured! But fck me,...this geezer broke me, and i was forced into the All Bar One next door. Similar thing happened to me on the two previous occasions,..and believe me, its not the case that the landlord has somekind of personal vendetta against me,..he wouldn't know me from Adam,...He is just an absolute fcking disgrace. Consequently, i can't comment on the beer cos i've never had one,..but i'd have odds on, that the foods sh it,..the fruities been interfered with,..and that hes got some hidden cameras rigged up in the birds bogs! CNUT

6 May 2006 17:37

Two Floors, Soho

two floors, neither any good

3 Apr 2006 14:45

De Hems, Soho

Yep,..decent in here,..good atmos and layout. Don't make the mistake of going on techno night though,..fck me those clogs make a racket on the old wooden floors,..sounded like the charge of the fcking light brigade.

30 Mar 2006 12:50

Deacons, City Of London

Good for a cheap pint away from all the city preening parlours. Congrats to Joey the owner.

29 Mar 2006 12:23

The Samuel Pepys, Mansion House

"I just need this one more,...12 down, word,..6 letters,..clue is Samuel Pepys,..rhymes with Fidel Castro,.............?"

Don't come much more "Thesedays" than this,..leather sofas, light wood, chalk boards and exotic lagers. Its one saving grace i guess, is the fact that its in a modern office block type gaff, it never woulda had a previous (better) incarnation.

28 Mar 2006 13:49

The Fat Badger, Notting Hill

It is pleasantly dark, fact all most pitch black upstairs in here,..but on my visit i didnt manage to get any kip at all, due, in no small part, to the disgraceful volume level of the music.

27 Mar 2006 12:28

Ryans Bar, Blackfriars

Good ole Ryan huh!,..yeah not bad at all this one...sports boozer really,..but hey,..if sport don't wax your canoe,..just get a pint and watch the barmaids instead,..lovely friendly foreign selection,..who make eye contact with you and smile, opposed to the usual english brand of "simmering resentment" eye contact that is so prevalent thesedays!.

I reckon ole Ryan must find the whole recruitment process one of the most satisfying aspects of his work,... he probably auditions.

27 Mar 2006 11:51

George IV, Chiswick

Its a decent high street for boozing - Chiswick, and this is one of the better boozers here, decent size, easy to lose youself and kick back. As for the coke problem in the toilets,..thats a bit of a unfair accusation towards our soft drink guzzling brethren,..lets be evenhanded here,..i saw a geezer take a pint of Speckled Hen in there once,...And theres no mention of a fowl problem in the toliets is there! All im saying is,..lets keep it fair. Only joking a'course,...nah seriously i've a mate with a real coke problem,...he drinks that diet shit with the lemon already in it!

23 Mar 2006 12:42

The Derby Arms, Epsom Downs

Better than the Tattenham Corner if the weather has dictated that you should be indoors,....It felt a bit too much like a restaurant for my liking - but hey,...if you're food-phobic, you've gotta roll with the punches in these gastro times!

Oh,..also,.. theres a good coupla pews by the fire,...perch on the edge of one of these (uncomfortably) and contemplate your next move...

21 Mar 2006 17:06

Tattenham Corner, Epsom Downs

Its obviously an impressive looking gaff this, in a picturesque location, over-looking the racecourse,..and a pint here outside on a summers day is undoubtedly nice,.......however, when you visit on a cold winters day you will find that the interior holds no charm whatsoever,...done up cheaply like a trendy bar,.no roaring fires and comfy chairs to be had here.....This juicer is a bit like a gift wrapped turd.

21 Mar 2006 16:59

The Three Legged Mare, York

I believe that the pub scenes from The Crying Game were filmed in here,..hence the name...Or was it the Overly Encumbered Moose?,..Oh i dunno,..anyway, yeah good service and friendly atmosphere.

21 Mar 2006 14:42

The Chilled Eskimo, Kensal Town

"This Pub is the best pub i have been in, in a long time" - llowthian2k, what! were you banged up for a few years or something?

Only possible reason to go in here is outa convenience during the carnival. Otherwise Pourquoi? Its a fcking schlap from any tube as well.

21 Mar 2006 10:55

The Bayswater Arms, Bayswater

I've had some brilliant times when i haven't been in here. Tiny and pointless pub in an absolutely dismal square half-mile for boozers. Whenever im on Queensway i yearn for a huge polevault to launch myself away! North, South, East, West, it wouldn't matter,..just a quarter of a mile in any direction! Actually maybe not south,..that would place me in hyde park,.and i'd be bang in trouble!

8 Mar 2006 13:08

The Rising Sun, Blackfriars

Good place to go solo on a monday lunchtime.

7 Mar 2006 15:06

The Golden Egg, Kilburn

This "cheap as chips" option on kilburn high road is mostly busy; as you would expect,...Decent for football, full of locals and eastern european immigrants...Surprisingly aggro free and Absolutely fine for two or three especially if you are on your Jacks. Word to Piers,...don't bring Tabatha or Persephone down here,..not unless you want your cricket jumper rammed where the sun don't shine, and your blowjob priveleges revoked, stick to the North London Tavern. Oh incidentally, just thought, the NLT and The Egg do actually have something in common - the state of their respective bogs,..prob a higher class of p iss in the NLT though if you believe the hype!

6 Mar 2006 16:13

The Market Porter, Borough

"Its about the beer stupid!", you patronising cvnt, or course its not you tit. Its about the pub, the atmosphere, the look and feel, the clientele and yes, ALSO the quality and selection of food and drink. Don't be so arrogant as to believe that everyone that looks at the site is a bearded trainspotting CAMRA member like you. I appreciate a good beer as much as the next man, but i wouldnt sit in a fcking dark shed to enjoy one. By posting here people are trying to give an impression as to the attractiveness of the venue. I wasn't debating the quality of the beer, (loads of places do a good selection of beer), I was just saying i can't see why people rave about the venue...and i stand by that.

2 Mar 2006 16:07

The Market Porter, Borough

Most over rated boozer on the whole site this, nothing particularly bad to say about it but,..fck me,..whats so special here. Best boozer in Britain,..horseshit, boozer down that alley maybe!

1 Mar 2006 14:34

The Nightingale, Sutton

Yep Parkhillian sums it up well, you cant sell a Sutton pub better than saying "It feels like it isn't in Sutton."

Whilst they're all puking and kicking lumps outa each other on the high street you could be mulling over the merits of Hare coursing over a game of pool.

5 Dec 2005 09:36

Bierodrome, Angel, Islington

...........barman told me how he thought "Trappist Monk" was rhyming slang....i mean yeah,..the White Russian didnt look the best,..but that put me right off.....

24 Nov 2005 13:03

The Metropolitan, Westbourne Park

good dartboard

24 Nov 2005 12:55

The Lass O'Gowrie, Manchester

I used to go in here afore my International Business Lectures to see the Lecturer have his pre-talk stiffener.

"So today the theory of Trade,,.....Scotland is good at producing whiskey,,....Scotland Produces Whiskey,..........Cuba on the other hand produces the most marvellous Rum,,.....Cuba produces Rum,.........oh what wonderful stuff it is,...have you ever had it,.........its the most gorgeous,....Sorry, digressing,..........where was i...............?.........oh yes,"

23 Nov 2005 15:50

The Bear and Staff, Leicester Square

Yep, agree with shit500, best of the bunch round here, used to be Preedy's local when he was milking Capital, now just a convenient place to lay your hat nr Leicester sq,........I love the idea of people getting the train in, for a night out in "Londons West End" and ending up in this dump,......lits a lot more credible than the "Long Island Ice tea" shop or other tips of that ilk.......

21 Nov 2005 16:21

The Red Lion, Kilburn

Considered putting in an offer on this place myself actually,..but thought better of it, would be a fcking baptism of fire, thats for sure.

Just popped in for a game on the Fruity the other night and was surrounded by what seemed to be Tri-ads within about 5 mins.

21 Nov 2005 11:02

The Talbot, Belgravia

Tres bien ici too, although still not as good as the Nags Head or the Grouse and Claret. Well heeled and well soused in here,......good laugh,.....dont reckon you can go wrong really with dark wood and scarlet trimmings,..bring your smoking jacket,...good carpet.

17 Nov 2005 11:09

The Nags Head, Belgravia

Fcking brilliant historic place this, tiny but unbelievably quaint. If you walk in here and get a seat (of which, there are about 25 in total), then you are sorted. Popped in for an exploratory one last night, but have already got it pencilled in for an all day session some time afore xmas. Tudor beams, roaring fire and quality/simple food prepared in front of you at the bar.....geezer ordered gammon sandwiches last night and a massive joint appeared outa nowhere and was despatched with aplomb by cleaver behind the bar. Like i say, quality place, but get here early if you wanna get a seat, i for one, shall be banging on the door at 11am on my next visit,'ll probably be easier to park the Horse and Carriage at that time as well.

17 Nov 2005 09:49

The White Hart, Bishopsgate

Since it is Crime Awareness day, 2 things: the price of the pints in here, and the managers attitude.

11 Nov 2005 12:20

The Scottish Pound, Moorgate

I don't mind this gaff, but, on Crime Awareness day, i feel that i should draw your attention to the decor,....reminds me of a shop that sells beds,....yes,..much like a bed shop i guess.

11 Nov 2005 12:15

Waxy's Little Sister, Piccadilly Circus

Eric B and Rakim have it, this place hasn't. Bland

10 Nov 2005 15:56

The North London Tavern, Kilburn

yeah, interesting point, seems to be a common area of neglect that, when these gaffs get gastroed-up, they always stop short with the old IKEA kit when they hit the mens bogs,....

Once your Fillet Mignons have worked their way through the system, you've cover to covered the Sunday times,.and chewed the fact with Piers and have to adjourn to Loch Urine...and you may as well be in any old shithole, its not the same in the birds

3 Nov 2005 13:57

The Globe, Baker Street

No earthly reason to go in The Globe,..a galaxy of idiots,...universally disliked, shit atmosphere, gravitate elsewhere.

3 Nov 2005 10:15

The Lamb Tavern, Leadenhall Market

Yeah one of those ones where you are not so much rating the boozer,..but rating the experience of standing on the pavement outside.......and, pavements go,....this isn't bad,..partly cos it aint one.....nice cobblestoned under-cover market,..decent environment for the city,...bring your trainers in the briefcase though,..don't wanna jar those knees on the jog back to the office.

2 Nov 2005 12:53

Brondes Age, Kilburn

There is nothing vindictive about calling a place shit pal. Thats the nature of posting on a site which exists for the sole purpose of sharing opinions. The fact is, most normal people would be fcking livid if they travelled from anywhere to come to this gaff, based on your snivellingly false review. "Wonderful heated terrace", are you fcking mad! Thats fcking Kilburn high road you tit. If anything, this site is downvalued by cocks like you, coming on and saying that everywhere is "wonderful" and "above average." How can everywhere be above average pal? I bet your the type of geezer that gives 110%.........

2 Nov 2005 12:11

O'Neills, Redhill

O'Dear's, too bright and sterile, rude fruity. I reckon they should amend drop the "No baseball cap" policy, and instead replace it with a "Balaclavas mandatory" one........

31 Oct 2005 14:36

Alphabet, Soho

A - wful
L - udicrous
P - oncy
H - ellish
A - lways
B - ollox
E - xceedingly
T - edious

20 Oct 2005 16:50

The London Stone, Cannon Street

Sorry my mistake, misread the name off the gaff.

Speaking of Stones, as a Stonemason i can confid....

5 Oct 2005 10:45

Angies Freehouse II, Westbourne Park

Yep, agree with previous, better than the bollox over the road,... quite an intimidating entrance though, of those ones where every table in the gaff seems to be facing the door. You may as well style it out, go the whole hog and give it a big (arms spread)"Ta da!" as you walk on in.......

22 Sep 2005 15:42

The Good Ship, Kilburn

This gaff looks like and indeed has all the panache of, an empty swimming pool.

I floundered around in there once, never again.

8 Sep 2005 12:48

The Waterway, Maida Vale

River boozer!?,........Thats the Grand Union canal pal,...and a particularly shite section of it, it is too!....If you and Persephone are coming down on the tandem,..make sure you keep your cycling clips on when sitting outside or you're liable to get a water-rat up your drainpipes,....There was also a shocking float-by canoe shooting here last summer,..

6 Sep 2005 12:19

The Stinging Nettle, Shepherds Bush

Yep,..yep,..feel the same as everyone else here. Used to be ok this place, but now, well, as they say down my way,..."any pint, anywhere is worth two in Shepherds bush",..or something like that

1 Sep 2005 16:22

The Falcon, Clapham Junction

Very decent station boozer this,...nice and big,..fair bit of atmos.

If you are unlucky enough to find yourself getting off a train in Clapham Junction with the intention of a night out in this neck of the woods, slip in here as you exit the station........down a coupla pints and formulate your excuses,...text em out,..turn the phone off,..One or two more pints for the frog,..and get back on the train.

"Dear Cam and Rup, cant make "tofu do" i'm fraid, points failure at Mitch Junc,..take care,..recep very bad here,..ciao"

1 Sep 2005 14:02

The London Stone, Cannon Street

Speaking of stoats, a vivisectionist i can confidently say that this boozer is too hot. I also like the fact that the slasher is through the book case,..i felt right at home

26 Aug 2005 15:01

The Red Lemon, Notting Hill

This place used to be so rough that you couldn't get a pint and had to drink from the can,........before it was done up,.............sorry,..just wanted to share with the group.

Its ok now though,..a little bit bo ho, but not sufficiently bo ho to make it a no go.

26 Aug 2005 14:35

The Heeltap and Bumper, London Bridge

I wouldn't be surprised if Jamie of "Jamies" fame is responsible for this offal. Ludicrous poncefest of a place, bright and unbearably smug that you'd better be packing your ski goggles. Unsurprisingly overpriced and lacking any redeeming characteristics whatsoever,...Not so much heeltapping as footstompingly bad,...should you ever have the misfortune to find yourself in any branch of this chain,..remove the noose and shoehorn yourself out double-sharpish.

25 Aug 2005 16:33

The Station, North Kensington

Just thought i'd point out there is an identical pub to this one, right near Latimer Road Station.... This one here seems to be in an area called "North Kensington!!"....Anyway,..the one in Latimer rd is reasonable,..big boozer, music, large outside section,....but yeah, the other comment is right,..not much competition round here in "North Ken...."

"North Ken please my man, and be quick about it,...thats rights,..left at Leafy Sheperds Forest roundabout,..yes yes thats it, left again into Latimer boulevard,...straight down,..yep, yep,..straight down till you see Latimer Road tube,..ah, it is,...Yes yes, is fine....."

25 Aug 2005 15:35

The Clifton Hotel, St John's Wood

Funny one this,...tucked away down a plush leafy street, you get the impression that it is a bit a private members club for the "well to do" residents.

It's nice enough though, and theres seats outside, but theres a lot of "cricket jumper round the shoulders" action etc, so doesnt really feel like a boozer and thus aint really my scene.

Its the type of place that, if it pushed itself, would be mobbed by the "bussed in" types that frequent the "places to be" in areas like, say, Westbourne Park (sorry: Westbourne Green!)......Would love to see the faces on the regulars if say, a mid range Audi with Essex plates, full of armani wearing tools, pulled up on a saturday evening, drum and bass blaring, looking for this gaff as a pre-club venue....There would be a swift meeting of several committees in the week after that i can tell ya!

25 Aug 2005 15:19

The Windmill Tavern, Waterloo

Good gaff this,...decently dark decor and brilliant lighting,..more like a ruby lounge than a Ruby Lounge.

Rude fruity

24 Aug 2005 12:22

The Sir Colin Campbell, Kilburn

yeah,..only go in here as a kinda self-test,...when i went, it was a case of; "as i entered the room, all heads turned". Managed to stay for two pints,.. but that was only cos i had the dual crutches of a newspaper and the fruity....without these, i woulda just stayed for the one and woulda probably endured it in a seat facing the wall.

22 Aug 2005 14:04

Jamie's, Canary Wharf

Whoever Jamie is, i'd like to see his psychological profile. If this place is owned by a company than the board need some serious group therapy.

19 Aug 2005 15:02

The Prophet, Moorgate

you could knock out a fair few prophecies of your own whilst waiting at the bar in here.

" and lo it came to pass, that people waited for what seemed like an eternity,.....and the barmaid said unto the peasants, shall wait your turn and be damned ye cocks"

Good fish and bread

19 Aug 2005 14:59

Context, Moorgate

Dunno what it is,..but this venue gets revamped every year or so,.and every incarnation is even shittier than the preceding one,.Starting from a particularly bad base...if you thought it was bad when it had the kinda pseudo mexican theme,'ll positively gag when you see how it is now,....Interesting to see how people can consistently fck up with this venue,..someone should write a paper on it "14 - 18 Triton Court - How low can you go - a study into Mans inhumanity to man"

19 Aug 2005 10:35

The North Star, Finchley Road

Nice one, anon (9th July)....So, you're sticking up for a boozer which you say yourself, is frequented by "rude horible people everyday." You're obviously a very discerning character! Also, your inference that I was rude and "horible" and that I actually like the O2 centre shows your comprehension of the english language to be questionable at best. I'm not surprised you are "not sure where kmcs is comeing from". I for one, am sure where i am coming from and indeed what pubs i shan't be going to. Maybe you wanna stay out of the rough shitholes with "rude horible" clientele, and instead maybe attend some kind of night class,...just maybe you "sould"

17 Aug 2005 15:41

The Doric Arch, Euston

i got called a "Ginger Muslim" by some meathead in here the other night,..for leaving my bag unattended at the fruit machine (for 30 seconds or so whilst getting change)!.......wouldnt'a minded so much but im fcking strawberry blond,.....stawberry blond!!,...i shoulda held them cherries as well....

Wouldnt like to say that the geezer was typical of the patons in the pub,..cos thats the nature of station boozers,..thats whey we like em,..the drinking equivalent of a lucky dip. Neanderthals on one table,..chinese tourists on another and the Boca Juniors cheerleaders on the next!!,...

"La Chicas fuego si,...Check em out,..Juanitas a la reche!"

"no,..not you pal!,...yeah yeah,..i reckon you'll beat arsenal on saturday yeah"

17 Aug 2005 11:29

The Robert Browning, Maida Vale

its alright in here if you can stomach the Sam Smith Shit,..has a billiard table and seats outside (front and back)

16 Aug 2005 10:51

Brondes Age, Kilburn

stone...-age clientele, ice...-age service, timelessly shit decor, small, unless you wanna sit out on the high road,..cack.....-age!

16 Aug 2005 10:43

The Queens Hotel, Crouch End

As a traffic warden, i can confidently say that this pub used to be better, is still large though,..occupying, as it does,....the same space. The Friday night "Craporama" is worth avoiding.....

10 Aug 2005 16:32

The Wheatsheaf, Fitzrovia

rudest fruity in the Northern hemisphere..

10 Aug 2005 16:28

The George, Great Portland Street

not bad,..yep,..not bad in here....not bad at all,......i dunno about that fit barmaid comment though,..not unless you like your birds,...well,...male.....

29 Jul 2005 14:18

The Athenaeum, Manchester

As a doctor, i can confidently say that this pub is shite now, has de-volved

21 Jul 2005 12:21

The Flask, Highgate

Yeah,..used to be better than this,..but was always slightly too poncey for my liking,..moreso now....just comes over as a bit grey and bland.....however you are really bang in trouble round here in terms of other options.......move....just think what you could get in Neasden for that money!..."Toys r us" just a grenade launch away...

16 Jun 2005 10:53

The Counting House, Bank

Yeah you're right,...thats my kinda refurb,.."If it aint broke.." an all that,....Maybe they just took two weeks out to refill the soap dispensers in the bogs....Still a decent gaff

15 Jun 2005 13:49

The Stage Door, Victoria

Oh yes, this dump,..well, smells like a rank lion,.and objectively has little to offer..Remains one of my personal faves in Toria though. Mostly easy to get served, except for the hour before a showing at the theatre nearby,..and can potentially be a bit too lively at the interval,...although this is entirely dependant on the number of professionals in the audience on any given night....

14 Jun 2005 15:57

The Cow, Westbourne Green

the reputation of this place as somewhere worth going to, beggars belief,..I wouldn't cross the road to go in there let alone cross tube zones,...don't!,..its a tiny, irrelevant and instantly forgettable....

13 Jun 2005 14:09

The Oak, Westbourne Park

eaterie,....move on

13 Jun 2005 14:03

The Calico Bar and Eating House, Mansion House

piss and poor,......get in the Golden Fleece and stop being such a big girl!

10 Jun 2005 14:55

The Hogshead, Barbican

good for a phisphy an phloke on those monday mornings breaking through the numbness after extensive root canal treatment at the dentist over the road

10 Jun 2005 14:29

The London Pub, Bloomsbury

this is a bit like putting a sign saying "fish and chip shop" outside a thai restaurant, just aint so,...the only thing preventing this being blatent fraudulent misrepresentation is the fact that this "pub" is evidently in "London".

2 Jun 2005 16:17

The Railway, West Hampstead

Got a pint in here recently,..had two sips then went for a slash,......came back and the landlady (who served me!)had cleared my pint up and thrown it away. When i asked her for my drink, she said she thought that i had gone, and that, if i wanted to be sure of its safety, i shoulda taken it to the bogs with me! She was Australian

2 Jun 2005 13:34

The Shakespeare's Head, Holborn

yep,..very long,..right by the tube,..good to kill time,..fruities

2 Jun 2005 13:28

The Athenaeum, Manchester

fcking decent in here,...saw cantona in there with no shoes on once...

25 May 2005 15:58

The Goose and Granite, Kilburn

yep,..comments are all correct here,..its so souless that no one can even be bothered to get aggro in here,.

25 May 2005 14:57

The North Star, Finchley Road

Good one in here yesterday,.

"excuse me, you do a sunday roast?"

"Wait your turn!"

"No, im not ordering,..just carry on serving,..but do you serve a roast?"

"i'm serving someone else!"


I was laughing with the geezers at the bar about it as i walked of em followed my out onto the street and goes,..."Dire as it sounds mate,'re better off going to the O2 centre!"

Thats what we're talking about here.

23 May 2005 14:00

The Elbow Room, Bayswater

not a pub

19 May 2005 16:33

The Tiroler Hut, Westbourne Grove

this is a restaurant

19 May 2005 16:31

The Redan, Westbourne Grove

one of those pubs where you could never imagine tying on a session,...all the punters are transcient, or two pints at most,...still, serves a purpose.

19 May 2005 16:30

The Daniel Gooch, Bayswater

i like this place,..nice lighting, fruities and pool table, aggro,..never busy, to Budgens,..piece of mind im sure,..for those boozing with elderly relatives

19 May 2005 16:27

The Grand Union, Westbourne Park

...........oh,..and if you are a vegetarian, really must try the chicken and mushroom pie in here, pies in london,..cluck off!

19 May 2005 15:11

The Prince Bonaparte, Westbourne Grove

Too cool for school this place, think it is losing out to other new "Cool" places in Westbourne Park,..losing out,... as it should do! Its a different kettle of fish in here during the carnival though,..mayhem behind boarded up windows.

19 May 2005 14:40

The Castle, Holland Park

Nice and dark

19 May 2005 14:02

The George, London Bridge

Yeah,..all these comments are right,..which unfortunately means that its the type of gaff where,..when it comes to your round, selfishly suggest going elsewhere to avoid having to deal with the ludicrous bar service...If theres no takers you fcked...I've been known to nip round the corner for a pint and a game on the fruity, under the pretext of getting fags,..just so as some other mug gets lumbered with bar duty.

19 May 2005 14:00

The Windsor Castle, Kensington

Yeah its alright this place, nooks and crannys, a real pub, pub-kinda-pub-type-pub.

19 May 2005 11:19

The Uxbridge Arms, Notting Hill

There is an unbelievably poor bar maid in here at the moment,...when i finally caught her evasive eye and ordered my drinks,..she managed to get through the whole transation without a simgle word or any eye contact,... simply held out her hand for the cash at the end,..whilst looking away at the tv. Rated her in a way! is a shit business after all,...

19 May 2005 10:22

The Zetland Arms, South Kensington

i used to go in this pub when bunking off a secretarial course nearby (that the job centre vindictively sent me on),...not what you'd expect in south ken,..its quite nice and down to earth in here.

17 May 2005 17:55

The Grand Union, Westbourne Park

I'd rather join the bus drivers/tyre fitters on the opposite side of the canal, (playing cards/drinking their white lightning) than suffer some of the tools you get in here now,....prefered it when it was the Carlton Bridge - when it was run by a Chelsea fan called John,.........used to be worth a visit just to marvel at his dental work.

13 May 2005 16:41

The Engineer, Primrose Hill

yeah you're right mate,..its shite in here,.."Engineer for show,...elsewhere for a pro"

13 May 2005 15:51

The Phoenix, Denmark Hill

Thats fcking funny that review below,..."sucked up all the vinegar",......nice,....i preferred this gaff when it was a deserted O'Neills,...licka paint,..licka paint.....ikea it up a bit and low and behold....kicking now by all accounts,...fickle world

10 May 2005 16:20

The Blue Posts, Fitzrovia

full of postmen,.....not necessarily a bad thing,..ima just sayin is all....

10 May 2005 15:52

The Lukin, Warren Street

i've never seen the craic'o'meter above a 2 in here..

10 May 2005 14:12

The Clachan, Soho

Yep,..its a nice refuge in here, if you cant find a spot in the upstairs at the argyle,....(they're like gold dust!)

10 May 2005 14:09

Ben Crouch's Tavern, Fitzrovia

I love these eerie pubs,.....whoooooooooooo,....went to this one on a paddys day once,........sat there like a prick, getting sloshed in a green witches hat,......wicked

10 May 2005 11:20

The Black Lion, Kilburn

Saw a funny one in here......Geezer next to me at the bar orders a pint of cranberry juice,...whilst its being poured (straight from the carton 1.09 from shop next door), he explains to me that he is off the booze for a while,..trying to detox for a coupla weeks..........barmaid comes back and goes that'll be 4.75,......we are both incredulous,...she explains that a pint is technically 3 separate cranberry juices (on the till),..he goes,.."fck off then,...put it back,......i'll have a pint of stella and a bells, ice"............."I dunno, do your best don't you mate!?",...."What the fck else is there to do..........?"

10 May 2005 11:15

Williamson's Tavern, Mansion House

good atmospheric place this,..only ever just the one ruskie bird serving in the front bar though, to walk straight through,..get served out the back and then bring it back to the front/better bar.

9 May 2005 16:16

The Cittie of Yorke, Holborn

yep,..its a quality layout in the back bar,..decent little ornate booths to tuck yourself away in....As a continuation of this theme,..i would maybe just suggest the intoduction of gothic style confessional boxes/booths,..

9 May 2005 14:32

The Toucan, Soho

dont walk in too fast or you'll smash straight into the back wall,....miniscule

9 May 2005 14:19

The Worlds End, Camden

i can imagine mad max and his cronies boozing here in a post apocalyptic hell,......kfc would still be going strong too i reckon

6 May 2005 16:21

Jerusalem Bar, Fitzrovia

not worth a pilgrimage

6 May 2005 14:50

The Flying Horse, Broadgate

one of those pubs that has obviously not had a stitch done to it in 20 yrs,...squalid and dirty but decent,...its the type of gaff where the clientele would be sitting in the bookies instead if they served booze.

6 May 2005 13:00

BRB, Sutton

its the best wannabe cocktail bar on the precinct,...a legend in its own drinking up time,........absolutely disgraceful sterile hole

6 May 2005 12:20

The Greyhound, Kensal Green

Yep, used to be a dark narrow boozer that served after hours and showed football,..think we're coming from slightly different perspectives here Sally,...."By far the best pub in the area" try the William IV!...anyway,...which one of the co-owners do you know then?

5 May 2005 16:19

The Crosse Keys, Bank

nice and dark and big and cheap and uncool,..ideal to get lost in on your jacks, whilst your collegues are happily queueing and haw hawing away, in the ponce and penis nearby,.....several fruities

5 May 2005 11:34

The Sawyers Arms, Paddington

best of the bunch near the tube,..........2/10

22 Apr 2005 14:52

Steam, Paddington

quite a cool looking gaff,..good place to pick up a tourist,....pricey,..good bogs

22 Apr 2005 14:49

O'Neills, Soho

its like being in a safari park,...where they have a two for one special on primates

22 Apr 2005 14:34

The Newman Arms, Fitzrovia

i saw this place on,....imagine my disgust when....

Yeah the pies are good i hear

22 Apr 2005 12:26

The Windmill, Moorgate

if your ever unsure as to quite where the square mile ends and the outside world begins,..pubs like this are a useful barometer, armani suited back office half monkeys in here,.hence..outside the square mile,...decent

21 Apr 2005 12:52

The Master Gunner, Moorgate

better after the refit, chris sure knows his onions

21 Apr 2005 12:47

Mook, Notting Hill

awful gaff this, if the heads of the clientele weren't big enough already,...everyone in here seems to be sporting horizontal haircuts,...pricks,..terrible service too

15 Apr 2005 13:18

Nell of Old Drury, Covent Garden

yeah friendly gaff this,...went solo style here,....they charged my phone for me,...i then turned it off.

8 Apr 2005 16:40

The Clissold Arms, East Finchley

good inside,..but if you get coersed outside in the summer, may as well have taken a rug and hamper down your nearest and display pints

8 Apr 2005 16:18

The Marquis of Granby, Fitzrovia

lovely inside at the back, in the summer

7 Apr 2005 16:47

All Bar One, Moorgate

never thought id say it but "not bad" as All bar ones go,...........2/10

7 Apr 2005 15:50

The Kings Head, Barbican

Went in here on my last day when i left a job once,...(instead of waiting around to get my leaving card and gift),...thats the type of gaff we're talking about here

7 Apr 2005 15:46

The Globe, Moorgate

Convenient,..and pool upstairs,..its gotta be on any city boozehounds circuit,...oh and theres a nutty barmaid in there at the moment (Keats side mostly) sporting half an ear...

7 Apr 2005 15:27

The Chandos, Trafalgar Square

Yeah,..nice one to know this,...especially the upstairs bar,....although,... you may have to move onto the shorts in here,..cos in terms or beer,.. all they serve is that Samuel Smiths nonsense

7 Apr 2005 14:18

The Arbitrager, Bank

nother good gaff this,.not a sniff of essex attitude..downstairs bar is a good place to hide yourself away,....think it has gone down hill a little recently,..but still a pretty safe bet

7 Apr 2005 14:15

The Telegraph, Moorgate

this is a good place, fit fit barmaids/waitresses

7 Apr 2005 14:12

Sosho, Moorgate

i prefer to think of it as an "arsey dump" rather than a "dump full of arses",........irrelevant beers priced as if they were laced with cocaine....and took ages to get em too......

7 Apr 2005 11:29

The Slug and Lettuce, Bayswater

this is the best of the bunch in this area,...probably cos,..unlike the other gaffs,.its not seen as cool enough to be in the trendy guidebooks, wont get an ponceload of tits in Range Rover pulling up at the lights and asking you where the slug and lettuce is, they'll never go.....everyones a winner

6 Apr 2005 17:06

The Westbourne, Westbourne Green

",....ok,..i'll get the drinks, find a spot"

".........what the fck kept you?"

",...never mind that now, this the best you could do,...stood here by the industrial bins!?"

"well its trendy here apparently,..I couldn't get a seat for love nor money..."

"Ok,..well we're here now,..lets get into it...........................................................that estate has been around for 20 years you know........"

Cackety Cack Cack

6 Apr 2005 16:39

The Waterway, Maida Vale

oh yes,..its a beautiful setting,..outside by the canal/facing the estates and the harrow road within earshot,...."4 pound a pint ya say Brett, me old hoxton fin/tight t shirt wearing mucka?",........mwwwwwwwwwwwwwwa,..bellisimo

6 Apr 2005 16:35

The Warwick Castle, Maida Vale

Yep,..its nice here,.....last time i went though,...there was a neighbouring shopkeeper outside covered in pigeons/reading a book,........still,..when in Rome...

6 Apr 2005 16:31

The Prince Alfred, Maida Vale

sounds like a broken record,...but "used to be better" before it was hit with the poncey stick,...try as they did though,..they couldnt totally fck the pubs infrastructure, its still a nice looking place,..but be careful of the breeze from all the air kissing in the restaurant area...

6 Apr 2005 16:25

Truscott Arms, Maida Vale

used to be a nice looking boozer, best seen through the rear view mirror of a cab whilst pulling theres an image..

6 Apr 2005 16:23

The Thatch, Croyde

its good in here,...which is just as well cos its the only place in town......provides you with a good excuse to go on a surfing holiday and do no surfing..

6 Apr 2005 14:04

The Blues Bar, Soho

too small

6 Apr 2005 13:49

The Bridge Tavern, Kilburn

ive gotta say,..this place used to be an absolute hole,..but its been given a total makeover by some sicilian family, calling it "Osteria del Ponte",..its now kitted out well and serves the most wicked/cheap pizzas,...not necessarily "a boozer" now,..more a restaurant really,..but it still shows the football and they've forceout the bums. Only drawback is the continental attitude to service,..i've seen a few people get the hump at the waiting time in there. Like i said,..not really a pub now but worth checking out if you wanna break from the rest of the lunacy on the high road.

6 Apr 2005 11:14

O'Neills, Heathrow

Oh yeah,...rubbish this one,...if you're really in the mood for a session,..check out terminal 4,...or maybe London city airport,.... June is the best time of year here.......

5 Apr 2005 16:59

Bar Lupo, Soho

yeah pretty shite in here really, of those arsey dumps that think they can charge what they like for beer that has bypassed the fridge and come straight from the box,...seen it done in there,..rude as you like,....

5 Apr 2005 16:33

The Goose at the Castle, Blackfriars

Well,..i can certainly say that it didn't look lovely when i went there,.waited fifteen mins at the bar,.. next to some braying tools and when i failed to get served, fcked off to the Blackfriar......this pub is either dead or unbearable,....luckily its mostly dead,..whereupon its ok for a swift one before a train from Blackfriars......

5 Apr 2005 16:13

The Lord Aberconway, Liverpool Street

i like this pub its got a dark dingy feel and layout,..but objectively its pretty squalid,.....does smell a bit

5 Apr 2005 15:46

The Glass Works, Angel, Islington

its a fantastic pub,..i knew no one in there

5 Apr 2005 10:41

The Nags Head, Islington

i reckon you're pretty fcked down this end of Upper st really,...this boozer really aint no great shakes,..but when you put it up against the competition it stands up reasonably well,...smokey and dark but better than the tedious all bar one and the despicable wetherspoons

5 Apr 2005 10:34

'Round midnight Jazz & Blues Bar, Islington

this is another one with security access to the bogs...

5 Apr 2005 10:19

The York, Islington

Shabby,..shit service,..yeah,.."ok for football" sums it up.

5 Apr 2005 10:18

The Rack and Tenter, Moorgate

mmmmmmmmmmm,..that picture really sells it don't it. ummmm....Its quite big.....

1 Apr 2005 12:57

The Doric Arch, Euston

its a long walk to the toilets in here

1 Apr 2005 12:18

The Cock Tavern, Kilburn

oh yeah its scary as fck this gaff,..last time i was in there i got through two family boxes of maltesers having felt obliged to buy them off an intimidating wannabe confectioner....And yeah,'re right about the bogs,...they take me back to nam....

1 Apr 2005 11:06

The Red Cat Hotel, North Wootton

Haunted,........stay away from the dart board!

1 Apr 2005 09:49

The Elgin, Maida Vale

not bad,..but prefered it when it was a shi thole. Lovely fit manageress in there now though,...stern as fck in a sexy headmistressy way...

1 Apr 2005 09:45

The Coal Hole, Strand

its what you'd call an "anytime of day" boozer this,...never packed but never empty and always hits the spot,..service is consequently timely and you invariably get a seat,.or at least a plot at the bar or side ledge,..stress free really in pleasant surroundings,...let the missus run round the shops and get tanked up here,.........then boot it elsewhere and turn your phone off before she comes back....

31 Mar 2005 15:58

The Walkabout, Covent Garden

walk-a-past and walk-a-past-fast,.......dire,..the southern hem is welcome to it.

31 Mar 2005 15:48

Henry's Cafe Bar, Covent Garden

Dame Ednas a man!?!

Yeah its a jazzed up All bar one this place.


31 Mar 2005 15:34

The Punch And Judy, Covent Garden

stumbled in here on a group celebrating a swedish national holiday once,...that was good,...oh and saw a rugger bugger get his head kicked in by a street entertainer for throwing a 2p at his head from the balcony bar once,...that was fun too....Expensive and packed...Otherwise nothing to add...

31 Mar 2005 15:29

The Sun and 13 Cantons, Soho

mwa mwa,...airkiss my arse you cnuts,...only time i went in here there was a power cut when i was in the bogs,....took the opportunity to nudge a coupla geezers into the urinals,....Nathan Barley would drink in here

31 Mar 2005 15:07

The Cannon, Cannon Street

the cannon is like a refuge for the normal man in the city,.......if you are a stranger in this neck of the woods and feel like you may fly of the handle at any moment at all the unchecked egos around you,..head here for a nice reality check,...maybe brick the All bar one en route.

31 Mar 2005 15:04

The Hatchet, Mansion House

Yep,..ideal for the Solo Hobo, couldnt get closer to the tube either, unless you were selling the standard

31 Mar 2005 14:53

The Moon Under Water, Balham

ooooh yeah,..done this one too,..when the sutton bound train conked out round Balham,...Was brilliantly depressing for a sunday night i can tell ya, looked like it had experienced a minor earthquake when i walked in,..more horizontal glasses than vertical ones,......3 fruities and a few people kipping if i remember rightly. It up there with the shittiest of "the spoons" that i have experienced

31 Mar 2005 14:01

The Argyll Arms, Oxford Circus

oh yeah,..true true,......the five stop journey from Bank to Ox circ puts me in mind of the effort Hannibal had to make in moving those elephants....The Argyle is like a mirage as one exits ox circ tube,...nothing better than tying on a session there and forgeting where you were supposed to be meeting up in the first place......Uptairs bar as well for a bit of privacy away from the plebs

31 Mar 2005 13:51

The Blackfriar, Blackfriars

i like this one,...nice feel to it,..just far enough from the city to feel normal,..has a nice look and to it,..good/low marble bar,..dark ambience, similar to Crokers near lisson grove or the warro in maida vale....

Hang on,... i have just read the other reviews and apparently they have now made it non smoking,.........its political correctness gone mad,...shame

31 Mar 2005 13:43

The Crispin, Moorgate

i used to work in the offices above this pub,...was good for a swift half on a fag break,....And it was also my venue of choice to watch the 9/11 footage unfurl as and when it was happening,....never watched anything else on the TV in there though,....always deserted after 8pm,......

31 Mar 2005 13:33

The Litten Tree, Old Street

Good for 5 or 6 after the gym on Bunhill Row,...

31 Mar 2005 11:37

The Angel, Old Street

Reasonable in here yeah,..but surely you can do better than XXXX on draught as your weak piss option. (didn't that go out with Eldorado?)....Its gotta be fosters or carling surely!

One fruity

31 Mar 2005 11:28

O'Neills, Cannon Street

Used to be good to watch all the life-trader dickheads poncing around in their bowling jackets flashing their money and dropping "deal tickets" all over the place,.....just a bit tedious now, without the cabaret,......overpriced

31 Mar 2005 11:12

The Sea Horse, Mansion House

Barely a pub with incredibly sparce decor,...almost like someone has rigged up a green house next to a main road and whacked some optics on the back wall,..soul-less and silent from what i can remember, fruity

31 Mar 2005 11:08

Ye Olde Watling, Mansion House

I thought that this pub was decent when i went in,..but my mate subsequently tells me that it is bent..

31 Mar 2005 10:57

The Hamilton Hall, Liverpool Street

It like "production line" boozing in here,...all snouts in the trough,..too big,..too bright,..too easy. Lets try and think outside the box people. Better pubs within spitting/puking distance......Good selection of fruities...

31 Mar 2005 09:50

O'Neills, Moorgate

If you're mug enough to order food from here (within the constraints of an hour lunch), you deserve what you get,...the delays are so long that i spent an amusing lunchtime in here the other day watching a stream of people ask for their orders to be cancelled as they couldn't wait around any longer. Funny

31 Mar 2005 09:39

The Oast House, London Bridge Station

Yeah its a good gaff,..ive missed many a train watching the world go by in this dump. Dirty and shabby with no bogs,..but wicked for solo boozing and people watching...mind you....i'd rate you if you managed an all dayer in here.

31 Mar 2005 09:24

The Royal George, Euston

Convenient sh ithole next to Euston,..discraceful bogs

31 Mar 2005 09:18

Cane, West Hampstead

Really really bad this place,...i even cross the road when i walk past. Preferred it when it was Scruffy Murphy's and they used to tolerate people pissing at the bar in there!

30 Mar 2005 16:39

The City Tup, Bank

Well yeah,..i dont really know why this boozer is on,..cos you are in no danger of getting lost in the fcuking place! But its alright really,..partly cos its never too busy and the service is relatively speedy,..and also cos its easy on the eye and no one from my work goes in there! Good place to read the paper of a lunchtime,...Food too,.. if thats what greases your pole. No fruity any more,..

30 Mar 2005 15:46

The Old Doctor Butler's Head, Moorgate

My kinda boozer this,..although i agree with some of the less favourable comments here. The Landlord is a bit of a dick, a dizzy mediteranean kinda way and yeah you do get a smug vibe off him,...however the pub is nice, dingy,..oldy worldie and very cosy,..The clientele is a lot more "normal" than in a lot of the city egoholes and if you can get a seat by the fire in the winter then you're sorted. I don't usually give a shit about the selection of beers but here i would prefer a weaker lager option on draft to oranjeboum, this does tend to kick in after a few.

30 Mar 2005 15:27

The Elgin, Ladbroke Grove

Ooooooooooooooh this is a dump! Got a pint in there once and a geezer came up telling me i was gonna be stabbed by the end of the evening, for staring at his mate,...I'd been there 2 minutes. As a sidepoint though,.I had already been served so....yeah the service was ok....maybe his mate was the barman.........

30 Mar 2005 14:33

The East Dulwich Tavern (EDT), Dulwich

Overated sullen dump this,..overpriced as mentioned and the decor in the TV section reminds me of a converted warehouse I went to on a stag do in Prague that calls itself "Rocky O'Reillys",...had the feel of a kids playroom - brightly lit with balsa wood panels on the walls and a table football in the corner,..bogs were directly under the (vaguely lit) big screen on the main wall...Can't remember whether they had a fruity or not,.. but if they did, assured that i woulda been on it, whilst finishing my solitary pint.....

30 Mar 2005 13:49

Astons, Kensal Green

This gaff is good. Nice decor,..chilled out,..and yeah,..nice break from the "rush hour tube-like" atmos in the paradise,....must make its profit on weekend food i guess, cos its never really busy in the evenings

30 Mar 2005 13:41

The Vale Bar, Dulwich

Ideal for the man whole likes a place to booze before and after each train journey. More or less opposite the station, good bar staff,..Football on TV and Fruity,..never saw any trouble,..mind you,..never saw any fit birds either, as well apparently if thats what floats your boat

30 Mar 2005 13:32

The Greyhound, Kensal Green

cack,...worst refit ever,...just put in some brighter bulbs, give it a licka paint, smash through into the newsagent nextdoor and "ponce it up a bit" seems to have been the philosophy here. Rubb ish.

30 Mar 2005 13:26

The Long Room, Queens Park

yep,...bad/slow/sarky service is a factor here but aside from that,..the venue is just fundamentally too big to ever create much of an atmosphere,....even with 40 - 50 people in there it still feels deserted. Needs a total refit i reckon,...its gotta be lacking something if it can't even drag people away from the salusbury and the bad/slow/sarky service there!

30 Mar 2005 13:21

The Falcon, Queens Park

Rough as arseholes...i usually pop in for a pint and a game on the fruity,..always a comment off someone....havent used the toilets or ever stayed for more than 2...

30 Mar 2005 11:31

The Warrington Hotel, Maida Vale

Yeah its decent, of my favourite locals. Good no matter what the season but esp boisterous on a nice sunny day. Two distinctly different bars,...go there for a few months or so and you will automatically graduate to the Shi t one,...apart from on special occasions, having birds with you (or when you need to use the toilet/other fruity. Stangely alway music free,..but it seems to work ok. Been in the area 10 years now,...ever eaten in there....

30 Mar 2005 11:26

The Salusbury, Kilburn

Some spot on comments here,...dispicable souless dump,..Although if your after some hot of the press gossip,...Whilst waiting at the bar for a hour or so the other night,..I overheard Tabatha, Rupert, Piers and Rocket chatting over a chablis,...and it seems like The Swanster proposed to Samatha at the Rugger last week,....and The Willmeister wrote of the boxter in Cheltenham,...If anyones bothered?!

30 Mar 2005 11:12

The Reef Bar, Victoria Station

brightly lit hovel where you need a pass code to access the toilets,...good fruities...9/10

30 Mar 2005 10:56

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