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Fig Tree, Uxbridge

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user reviews of the Fig Tree, Uxbridge

please note - reviews on this site are purely the opinion of site visitors, so don't take them too seriously.

Bit of a chavfest this. I do use this pub from time to time but usually in the daytime when the other half is shuffling around the shops with her grandmother.

It isn't bad for watching the footy and is the only place I can think of near the high street that shows televised sport. They used to have a 3D tv here (remember them) but got rid of that a while ago when people realised that standing in a pub wearing the 3D glasses actually made them look like numptys.

Beer range is limited mainly to fosters, carlsberg etc however, on my last visit they were selling bottles of speckled hen.

They used to have the oafiest barman in Middlesex working here but he seems to have gone which is a shame as he was a good bloke.
BeerGutt - 3 Oct 2015 12:11
i love this pub ... its a friendly nice place to visit .. nice staff ... nice food ... defo not as it was from previous reviews .... fri and sat's late liense with good music
voltsbabe - 15 Jan 2015 14:01
used to use this pub alot but it needs a change in staff manager is to rude and staff are pervs touching up women and getting their boyfriends barred for no reason also where the friday night dj gone at least he took request unlike the other djs the place don't need a refit just new manager and staff as the ones they got are rude
bull - 3 Oct 2013 04:00
this pub is horrible. the manager is rude for a start, there was food poisoning in the
burgers. i have had diarrhea and an upset stomach for 3 days after it. you have been warned. DO NOT GO TO THIS PUB!
kyp77 - 26 Jul 2013 18:54
only beer is john smiths.... eevrything else is standard pi55 poor lagers.

probabaly a good place to watch an england game, but a terrible pub otherwise...
CHELSEA_on_tour - 15 Feb 2013 11:35
Don't bother with this pub unless your a local chav wanting shit lager and no atmospher!,only beer was a poorly kept john smiths,the old bird working behind the bar had a bad attitude,and the kitchen was shut at 5pm,so couldn't even try the food,there's better pubs around uxbridge.
trojan69 - 1 Jan 2013 18:01
Do not go to this pub. Seriously, don't.
I work in a local shop whose dress code consists of joggy bottoms and a t-shirt. After a long day of work I decided to go to the pub - got in, the bouncer was a really nice guy, asked us really politely to check our bags and everything. As soon as I stepped into the pub itself, the landlady came screaming at me: YOU'RE WEARING JOGGY BOTTOMS, GET OUT, GET OUT! Screaming at us like you would not believe.
I was NOT being impolite (actually I immediately got out) - I don't mind places that have dress codes, I just don't need to be abused when I try to get into one that does not say it does anywhere.
Seriously, do not go - the security guard was an awesome guy (came outside to apologise to us), but the rest of the staff was horrible).
missbrownstone - 18 Nov 2011 21:06
only had greene king had a pint of stella for a saturday very few customers in the pub so got served easily.ok pub but will not be back
forestwood - 30 Aug 2011 16:01
Not my cup of tea at all. No real ales, so I endured that awful 'smooth' stuff. Not overly impressed with the 'gourmet burgers', although the chips were pretty good. Service was not too bad. Thankfully, prices were reasonable.
Dylanwing - 24 Jul 2010 18:50
Ops this has the coreect date it was not Mach 2006 it was March 1996 sory!

Hi my wife & I opened The Old bill back in March 1996 we worked with the Brewery to transform the old police station in the pub known as The Old Bill.

The Old Bill was the place to be in Uxbridge beating all projected revenue plans and the brewery was amazed how the pub went from strength to strength

We ran this pub to a very high standard no TVs, Discos, or Chavs in Euro 96 we had a football free zone not even allowing people to wear football tops in the pub and guess what we were still full every night people queuing to get in.

The old bill was a trendy pub serving great food and Green King Ale.

A huge thanks to all our team we still think of you all and the great times at The Old Bill

swan2swan - 4 May 2010 22:16
Hi my wife & I opened The Old bill back in March 2006 we worked with the Brewery to transform the old police station in the pub known as The Old Bill.

The Old Bill was the place to be in Uxbridge beating all projected revenue plans and the brewery was amazed how the pub went from strength to strength

We ran this pub to a very high standard no TVs, Discos, or Chavs in Euro 96 we had a football free zone not even allowing people to wear football tops in the pub and guess what we were still full every night people queuing to get in.

The Old Bill was a trendy pub serving great food and Green King Ale.

A huge thanks to all our team we still think of you all and the great times at The Old Bill

swan2swan - 4 May 2010 22:13
visited the Fig Tree on Saturday night for the first time, travelled
down from Stoke on Trent to meet some work colleagues, spent 2 hours in there watching the Chelsea game and the Newcastle game.
I think its a great boozer, friendly atmosphere and to be fair prices are what you expect for the South.

geordieryman - 31 Jan 2010 19:25
Fruitbat! Who do expect to be in a pub in Uxbridge? People from Swansea?
zagreb - 9 Jun 2009 11:36
Good food, good beer, reasonable prices, good sports as well. I don't go during the evenings as I know it is not a good pub for someone my age. Would definitely reccomend for a day time pub though
sunsetb123 - 27 Dec 2008 00:27
Place has huge potential to be a good pub but not when your locals are all West Drayton and Uxbridge chavs.
Nice scenary and reasonably good beer quality Staff seemed polite but had to wait a while to be served. Problem with Uxbridge and pubs is the customers are all rowdy teens and early twenties lowlifes with kids getting in the way. However this place gets a 6 outta 10 i must have caught them on a reasonably good day!!!
thefruitbat - 23 Nov 2008 16:14
It was shite in the past, full of chavs and yobs as you all say. Crap beer, overpriced, too noisy with chavvy kid's dance music. So I went back in recently to see if it had changed. Not really.

Still waited ages to be served dodgy beer that was overpriced, still had to fight through tight spaces packed with kiddies to get to loos or the bar. Still had to endure rubbish music. Such a shame but I guess every age group of whatever needs it's place, but the people in here were not all young at all. Got th eimpression they were tno realyl caterign for their cleintelle and lots of folks came and went after just one drink, whilst looking like they were not enjoying themselves. Still, it has a garden and for this reason it will still be busy esp with the smoking ban, even if it makes no effort at all. Sad.
ladyday - 18 Jul 2008 15:57
might be a greene king but a really friendly place all the same, 7/10
fat_beer_badger - 16 Mar 2008 17:28
Came back to Uxbridge just to see how this place was doing and the gorgeous burgers are no more. They still do burgers but they are pretty standard fare. The waitress could not figure out how to bring our food correctly to the table. Even though she had just taken our order, she thought we might like 3 other orders before we got the correct one.
A real shame what was great now aint
MissElainey - 15 Feb 2008 16:24
much better now the chavs have gone. great burgers, great for footy, a decent boozer
tombsie - 29 Dec 2007 15:43
No ale, only Greene King IPA on nitrokeg. But it's got the usual lagers you see everywhere now: Stella, Foster's and Carling. You can wait for ages to be served because there are not enough bar staff to cope with the demand. And when the person a few feet away decides to hold everything up by paying with a card, move as near to that person as you can. I failed to do so after waiting a long time and the space was quickly filled by someone else who got served immediately after the card transaction was completed. It was time to leave.
fuzzfeast - 24 Nov 2006 22:12
Went in here for the first time at the weekend since it's had a rename/decorate and was surprised at how much has changed. Staff attitudes and beer quality have both improved, a very nice night thank you.
zagreb - 3 Oct 2006 12:07
I am moving from Uxbridge and this pub could have made me stay. It's a great enviroment now. They have a delicious new burger range. The best food to be found in Uxbridge. The staff are fantastic very friendly and polite. The whole decor is going for a side that was not catered for in Uxbridge the non chav. Good chill out tunes as well. I work local so I will hopefully get to come back for the odd lunch and have told my work mates to stop in for a great experience
MissElainey - 16 Jul 2006 16:29
I'm not from Uxbridge but go there occasionally on business, I was looking for a new pub to visit and having been to The Old Bill (and hated it, Chav hell) I thought I'd make my own opinion of the much discussed Fig Tree. I went for lunch and had a chat with the so-called 'idiot' managers and I have to say nothing could be farther from the truth. They were polite and friendly and were unhappy, but not surprised, to learn that they'd upset a few locals by changing the customer base of the pub. They have simply made it over 21's, have stopped allowing children (in my opinion a good decision in a town centre pub) and don't serve people in tracksuits! If only more pub managers did the same there would be many more safe, clean, friendly pubs in the area.
My lunch was tasty, there was plenty of choice and the service was good considering how busy they were. I enjoyed it so much I actually brought some colleagues for a beer in the evening and all commented on what a vast improvement it is on the Old Bill and all will be returning. I can only congratulate the new managers on a successful redevelopment and safely say I will now be a regular whenever I am in town.
Pubfan - 14 Jun 2006 12:50
Thats what I have been saying all along!! She is going first then him in a few months time so how am I wrong??

I think it is 3 months time then he will be gone but who cares the geezer and his missus are idiots and that's not just my opinion either. The sooner they go the better!!
DanMo - 13 Jun 2006 13:24
Nope you are wrong mate. Theyre here for the summer at least. Anyway...
anonymous - 13 Jun 2006 00:53
Good for you but it's what I have been told and I have heard this from more then one person including one Staff member and Ex staff member and a pub manager down the road plus a few others. I have been drinking there for years and you will find the rumors tend to be true.
DanMo - 12 Jun 2006 22:38
I date one of their bar staff mate and youre talking rubbish. Good try though.
anonymous - 12 Jun 2006 22:00
I have good sources throughout Uxbridge and this is what I have been told either way they have messed that place up now. Bring back Tony!!!

Oh I am not a Chav far from it before you all start.
DanMo - 12 Jun 2006 21:11
I dont know where you got that from mate! But I think you'll find youre wrong! They're here to stay for the moment.
anonymous - 12 Jun 2006 10:30
Good news, The managers are leaving :D The girlfriend is going this week back to her snobby pub in London and the bloke is going soon after (coz his contracted) I like the staff can't wait till they are go.
DanMo - 12 Jun 2006 10:16
The only people who hate this place now are the CHAVs and that coz theyre not welcome! I really like this place. It has a great garden and decent food. The management have never given me funny looks and theyve done a good job with it i think.
anonymous - 9 Jun 2006 14:55
I hate this place it sucks just like the new management!!

Ok so towards the end of it's life the Old Bill had a few problems but I feel like many others it's down to management. When Tony used to run that place it was the best place ever, Music was brilliant and it was so busy you could hardly move in there!! now you walk in get funny looks from that idiot manager and his stuck up girlfriend you just wanna leave. Mate it's Uxbridge not some top end bar in the city!

Anyways like all bars you will have to revert back to what you know just look at baroosh they started like you and so did the hogs.

I hope you leave!!!
anonymous - 6 Jun 2006 10:20
I haven`t been there recently but I cant see how anyone could change this place, the local massive chav brigade have made this place their own, but fair play to anyone for having a go because it could be a nice pub. Think the new people should try and attract the Treaty/ Met crowd
anonymous - 25 May 2006 20:01
The current manager told me that the name was changed because they wanted to change everything about the old pub. To change the number of letters on the signs outside they'd have to have planning permission so instead it became The Fig Tree. Theyve even planted a Fig Tree on their terrace. The place looks much nicer, there is a much better crowd and theres a new menu. I'd have to say its now one of the best pubs in Uxbridge. I wish there were more like this!
anonymous - 24 May 2006 12:45
Has now inexplicably changed it's name to "The Fig Tree"

anonymous - 15 May 2006 22:20
Something about this pub it seems to pull all the chavs and probably most of the local criminals in so they can have a good punch up! Must be something about going into the old police cells to use the toilets must make them feel at home or remind them of where they're liable to end up come closing. The local police would do well in placing cells back in the cellar at the Old Bill it would save them a load of time.
notfromaroundhere - 28 Mar 2006 15:25
looks lovely from the outside, but chav hell inside.
anonymous - 11 Dec 2005 14:31
"Avoid it like the plague" would be my advice to anyone over thirty, or in regular paid employment.
Don't suppose most of clientele can read, but they could probably punch.
May actually do decent beer [may not, too, I suppose]; I didn't tarry!
However, the people inside do rather deter.
Sorry - not my sort of pub.
railtracksurvivor - 2 Oct 2005 14:40
CharleyMouse - 12 Sep 2005 13:15
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Just dont. Perfect place to go for a fight though...
Spikester - 29 Jul 2005 17:06
A pub that as the name suggests, is an old police station. Therefore, the pub itself is quite a nice old building, which does give it a certain charm.

It does seem to cater for the chav market though, even if there is a sign outside saying "No heavy jewellry" so perhaps they are trying to get rid of them!
Not a pub I would go out of my way to visit, but is OK for a stop off.
TheGP - 25 Jun 2005 12:35
full of wigga boys who want to be black.
crap bar staff and microknobbed bouncers.
overpriced, overated


go next door to the metropolitan, it treats you like you're the one with the money.

IHATEWIGGAS - 16 May 2005 16:23
The Old Bill, is a good pub and is always a goo laugh. I recently went there for the school disco and had a great time. All the staff were dressed up and looked great. The pub has a really warm atmosphere and there are plenty of fitties. Especially the girls behind the bar - well sexy! Definitely the best pub to go in Uxbridge.
anonymous - 1 Feb 2005 01:12
I recently visited this pub and found the staff including management and bouncers to be rude and unhelpful. After pointing out on the 19th Dec 2004 that there was broken glass on the floor due to a member of staff lifting the hatch and knocking numerous glasses to the floor causing them to break i was told that a member of staff had gone downstairs to get a dustpan and brush. When i said that considering the nature of this business i was surprised that the suitable appliances were not available in the immediate vicinity the person who claimed to be the manager said that somebody was getting the appropriate tools for the job in hand. I admit that i had sworn once to the person concerned and apologised for this and would not do this again which i did not, however i was threatened with my removal from the premises ( the old bill) in this instance. I then said that i was satisfied with the action that was apparently being taken but as 5 minutes had already passed and 3 members of staff had already walked past the site in question including the member of staff at fault, i said that if no action was taken in the next 5 mins i would complain again. The so called manager told me that if i looked around the pub i would find broken glass in other areas, i pointed out that this was a breach of health and safety particularly in a public area and was met with a very icy and negligent response. I then returned to my friends and drink only to be told by the manager concerned that it was time to drink up and leave, as it was only 5 past 12 and the bar shut at 12, i pointed out that normally customers are allowed 20 mins drinking up time and that when other customers were told the same i would follow as i felt i was being singled out. My friends also pointed this out to the manager in question, and were met with the same hostile response that i received previously. About 1 minute later we were all approached by 4 bouncers and asked to leave, as there was only 4 of us in our group and myself being a 4'11" woman, i thought this was rather unnecessary but i understand the bouncers were only adhering to what they had been told i do not hold them responsible for their unnecessary actions as myself and my friends had not become hostile and violent although we had good reason to be very angry and humiliated. I myself, spoke to one of the bouncers who pointed out that the management had the right to eject anyone from the pub they thought were a threat although i explained the situation and that i recently had been on a course for discrimination and victimisation which this was may i hasten to add, i also work in a customer service related atmosphere and have also worked in the licensing trade for a number of years in various areas. I am appalled at the treatment i received from the management in this pub although it has nothing special to offer, and having already made a registered complaint to the local police, i will also be making a complaint and expecting a follow up visit from the health and safety department as i feel that the response i received from the management from this pub was not only disgusting but also violated my personal safety and that of every other person present on the night/morning of 18th/19th December 2004. As i do not go out very often and was only out because my brother-in-law was over from the States for Christmas, I was very disappointed that this incident had marred what was an enjoyable evening. I do hope that my vigilance would have served as only good but obviously i was seen as nothing but an inconvenience and a nuisance even though had someone injured themselves due to this negligence, it would have cost this pub far much more in compensation. I hope if nothing else this will serve as a lesson to those concerned in future and perhaps the pub/brewery concerned will actually send all their staff for retraining in customer service and health and safety so this lack of commitment does not happen in future.
shazza126 - 19 Dec 2004 01:41
The Old Bill has improved massively over the last few months. I think they got new managers and the bouncers and barstaff are much more friendly.
They have DJ's on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays until midnight and it's always a good laugh. They seem to have got rid of most of the townie kids. During the day the food is excellent and it's got Sky Sports at weekends. Top boozer all-round
Steve - 19 Oct 2004 16:25
full of townies, unfriendly bar staff, very unfriendly bouncers and where it can get very busy at the weekend be very careful about accidently treading on someone's foot as a sorry is not always good enough.
anonymous - 13 Jul 2004 15:14
far too packed and full of some right townie wannabes- not a place to be if your over 18.
dandan - 3 Jul 2004 15:12
absolutly amazing, fantastic atmosphere outside seating til10:30 then rally really packed inside. Cheap enough for drinks and lots of talent
matthew - 26 Jun 2004 11:25
Good little bar, lot of young people, loads of girls & the odd pub brawl every now and then
anonymous - 17 Feb 2004 19:40
good boozer. busy on a night. mix of young and middle aged customers. nice enough decor and stuff.
stoichkov - 11 Dec 2003 15:43

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