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BITE user comments - benton

Comments by benton

The Bull, Sissinghurst

Opened as the Milk House, much better than before (though that wouldn't be hard). A bit gastropub-ish but then these are the only ones that make any money. Not too expensive, Harveys still there and with Adnams too, didn't try the rest. Worth another visit at least.

4 Oct 2013 15:23

The Blacksmiths Arms, Cudham

If you had taken the time to read all of Cakenhoff's reviews - as I have done - you would surely have seen there is more to the man than just cliched phrases, inaccurate statements and terrible diction. His reviews are very entertaining.

23 Sep 2013 17:24

The Lion Hotel, Farningham

The funny this is, this pub doesn't give a sh*t about the reviews that you leave, they will still make money due to the location. Haha.

23 Sep 2013 17:13

The Little Brown Jug, Chiddingstone Causeway

Revisited the pub with my wife....WIFE. (and son). Sorry ladies, I am taken. CANNOT believe that visiting on 2 different days would result in the food being slightly different - shocking. Who runs this place?!

Some sort of pop culture reference to a much overhyped and overexposed book goes here. Blah blah blah. Insert cliche here.... Yes I follow popular culture and am still relevant and cool despite pushing 50 and getting pleasure from penning reviews on this shit website that nobody reads.

23 Sep 2013 17:12

Kings Head, Sutton Valence

I have never been so disappointed with any pub in my travels as this. We have eaten out extensively and had our share of mistakes but this pub is the worst. Let me start by saying I wasn't expecting much from the reviews here and on Yelp so that isn't the problem. I was expecting clean and simple.

The carpets have never been cleaned, they are smelly and grey. (so are the curtains). The main TV didn't work and was small and old. NO Sky TV here. My two year old found a crack pipe on the edge of the adjacent table. I have pictures of the crack pipe also.

The wifi internet required a “password.” The landlord did not know what the password was. I explained that a screen said “password required” and was told that no one knew what the password was and got a rant in "foreign". Finally I was given the number of Dishwad, the computer person. I called and left a message with my name and phone number for a return call. To this day, I have not received that call.

While settling down in the pub garden, I nearly bashed my leg against a metal bar that was protruding from the table next to the wall. By this time, we were so distraught we decided to demand our money back and we would find another place to have a eat. We were told that the first round would be withheld no matter what.

When we were leaving we noticed a dead bird in the parking area which had obviously been there quite sometime. Above our vehicle under the pub sign were huge leaking holes. The holes exposed pipes that were dripping, causing liquid to pool on the top of our vehicle and dangerous puddles all over the ground.

There is NO draught beer, not even Harveys. The plumbing backed up in the toilets (several people were in the lobby complaining with us) and was filled with someone elses brown floaties...ick. There were prostitutes roaming the carpark, and rubbish strewn under the stairs. There were really too many issues to count. We ended up being sick all the way home (literally vomiting in the car).

14 Aug 2013 15:50

The Plough, Ivy Hatch

went here last week with my friends we had a few chasers and shots at the bar, wasnt too expensive and was going okay, the barman Luca was very flirty with me, then he had to ruin it when his girlfriend arrived, why are all the nice boys taken? seriously all I want is a tall, buff boy with a California accent who has a strong jaw and blue eyes and light brown hair and takes me shopping whenever i want also he has to be a member of MENSA, live in a mansion, have tattoos, be a model, have muscles, play the guitar, love to cuddle and speak eight different languages.

14 Aug 2013 15:32

The Parchment Makers, Havant

pompeyfatboy, you pathetic, limp-armed piece of shit. You know what I did at 05:30 this morning? I woke up, benched 300kg for two hours straight, downed a pint glass of a self-concocted protein shake in under 2 seconds and banged my girl. Hard.

14 Aug 2013 15:24

The George and Dragon, Headcorn


My partner and I went to this pub after being kicked out of the nearby White Horse as we had insisted on going topless in this heat, so we headed over to the George as we'd heard good things about it on the scene. Considered a few others but a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush as they say (oo-err).

In short this pub IS worth a visit. Interesting point to note: the garden. Bleached and painted white with no view at all owing to the large erect fences a la Treblinka; a rather masculine and slightly over the top choice quite honestly. Very homely cushion selection in one of my favourite colours - eggshell blue - and yes the hanging baskets were divine with a wonderful selection of vivid petunias and pansies. A terrific flourish of dashing hues and bold, confident, overt tones!

Unfortunately that is where the praise ends. I must state that my partner and I do NOT ask for any special treatment in public and prefer to act like every other couple, straight or gay, so it was a shock when we politely asked Marton if it would be okay to breastfeed however Matron said NO, as we had no children with us. Obviously disciminatory and they will be hearing from us again.

Beer? Didn't try it as we don't drink. 0/10 AVOID.

14 Aug 2013 15:04

Never Say Die, Jaywick

A beuatiful pub in a delightful little town, a true marvel architecturally. Internally the highly affable landylady was very friendly. The patrons are also very warm and OH WHO AM I KIDDING WHAT A SH*T HOLE. If you're ever in Jaywick then... get out.

28 Jun 2013 15:25

The Cock Inn, Boughton Monchelsea

Overpriced. And then some.

The flirtatious (read: irritating) landlady seems to have had the negative comments removed and suddenly there is an influx of glowing ones. Anyone who thinks this pub is good either a) did not view the menu prices or b) speak with the landlady owner. Try either, you won't go back.

28 Jun 2013 11:40

The Railway, Wateringbury

An utterly drab, lifeless shit hole of a place. Completely bereft of any hope, we left this pub before the gates of hell were closed and the demonic landlady boarded up the door for the night. Doombar was the only drink on tap, which is possibly not true at all, however who cares.

28 Jun 2013 11:38

The Little Brown Jug, Chiddingstone Causeway

SLIMY plaice, wife was NOT impressed. Toilets were brilliant, and as a man who went to this pub with the WIFE I might reiterate, I found the toilets to be clean, airy and effete. Do try to go here, at least to sample the toilets.

28 Jun 2013 11:36

The Dirty Habit, Hollingbourne

Maybe do a 3rd review it will be less suspicious...

28 Jun 2013 11:31

The Dirty Habit, Hollingbourne

Mixed feelings about this place. Literally all staff were Eastern European, hardly a 'village local' like it so desperately wants to be... I hope this isn't reported for being "rayciss". The food was good, had Doombar so not complaining. 7/10

22 Apr 2013 14:32

The Chaser, Shipbourne

First thing we noticed was a tosser with an iPad. Not a good start. Pubs like this are overrated, average food served with a sprinkling of parsley doesn't make it good food and doesn't mean you can command £12 for a dish. Staff were over the top and loud, would be more suited to a Wetherspoons environment. Not many ales here either.

Disappointed as the other pubs in this chain are okay.

22 Apr 2013 14:26

The Wheatsheaf, Bough Beech

Terrible place. The food was ghastly. I assualted the chef as a result - a strong left-hook to the chops, for daring to serve me up this diabolical disaster on a plate. Wife ('missus' in common parlance) can't stomach frozen food, how dare they.... Meat was stringy, whatever that means, kind of like a vegetable. But it was meat. Stringy meat.

Had to read the menu off a chalk board, to my surprise it was written in Gaelic. I questioned the landlady on what it meant in English and she shrugged her shoulders and threw clover at me and replied "this is an Irish pub you know!!"

11 Apr 2013 14:43

The Filo (First In Last Out), Hastings

Do try the TAPAS here. It is incredible. Beer was warm, as it was in my heydey, but this is to be avoided.

10 Apr 2013 11:44

The Man of Kent, East Peckham

Went here with a friend. Yes a FRIEND. I have at least one. Made-up friend is very tall so he had to duck - beware of low ceilings. Look out for local stag parties and voluptuous landlady. Sit outside by the river and watch the Chubb to pass the time. Very nice setting 9/10

10 Apr 2013 11:42

The Abbotsford, Edinburgh

FULL of the scotch. Couldn't wait to leave. Be warned. Thanks, Edward and Catherine, Surrey.

8 Apr 2013 16:05

The Castle, Outwood

Went here with the MISSUS. The missus. Yes, I HAVE A MISSUS. Convivial and down to earth, hence the slang - "MISSUS". Not single. Missus. Trish is the missues. I mean Trish is the landlady. Slip of the tongue. Discovered by accident, honest.

8 Apr 2013 16:01

The Chequers Inn, Heaverham

Food falls below expectations given relatively high prices. Lamb was SLICED , disgusting. Mouldy and rotting vegetables. Yorkshire puddings were burnt and black. Overall too much fat, could have had more gravy and didn't taste like it was made from stock. Plates were slightly too small and wrong colour. Didn't display VISA sign so wasn't sure if they accepted it. Took in excess of 16 seconds to be served which is terrible. Roast potatoes were divine though. Beer? Who gives a sh!t.

8 Apr 2013 15:54

The Fox and Hounds, Romney Street

Garden is covered in dog excrement, do not venture outside without wearing a forensic suit. Roast Lamb is so overcooked it falls apart in hand - but this is apparently a positive. Previous landlady was evicted due to financial issues, new owners have installed a pool table which is to be frowned upon by all, what on earth are they thinking. Beer is okay, cider on tap.

8 Apr 2013 15:44

Windmill Inn, Weald

Not a bad boozer. Recently appeared in obscure real ale magazine read by the bearded and boring. Previously Irish landlady be warned she was a Hitler sympathiser and Nazi bootlicker, but long gone.

8 Apr 2013 15:35

Fleur-de-Lis, Leigh

Pub was FILLED with smoke due to the over the top fire. No cider on tap however apparently they DO have cider on tap... just not Strongbow. Poor exterior but this must not put you off, however the garden needs some attention it was disgusting and put me off the entire place. Interior is very dated, the beers were good but who cares.

8 Apr 2013 15:21

The Little Brown Jug, Chiddingstone Causeway

Very busy place, perhaps too busy at times.... One word of warning, the toilets are very effeminate, as a man I found them to be completely at odds with what I am accustomed to. I went with my missus. MISSUS. That's right, anonymous readers, I am not single any more and rather down with the local slang. Missus. MISSUS. She loved it, owing to the books.

One other thing to watch out for... (to those who haven't been to this pub in the last 2 decades) I took my elderly mother here and she almost collapsed when she saw it had changed hands since her last visit. If you go you must try the chips, they are ginormous.

8 Apr 2013 15:16

The Greyhound, Charcott

This pub is not bad but needs improvement. I was with a group of 20. We were offered a menu before we even sat down how rude, and the Harveys the landlady poured was VILE. I said to her that it might be the end of the barrel and she FLEW ACROSS THE ROOM like a thing possessed, clearly she had an axe to grind. It is also ludicrously expensive she wanted £16 for 2 pints of some obscure local ale that only the boring arseholes on here have heard of. Overall the atmosphere was crap and the decor needed updating.

8 Apr 2013 15:10

The Butchers Arms, Herne

To the BITE user who questioned what they put in the barrels to make the ales taste so great, I have heard so many rumours but Martyn confirmed that it's just the aged old oak barrels they store them in. Luke the barman is a very tolerant fellow, a real charmer and this is very rare these days. I can only say that he was VERY willing to share his previous homoerotic dalliances with us all, and this is a refreshing change for someone so closeted. My partner and I go back as often as we can. I would recommend everyone - gay, straight or transgender, pops in here whenever they are in the area, an open mind is a definite requirement.

27 Mar 2013 10:57

The Rock, Chiddingstone Hoath

I CAN ONLY ECHO THE COMMENTS HERE! I went to this pub on Sunday with my partner Kenneth to relax after a long shift. We have NO kids (thank god). We usually partake in a little PDA (public display of affection) when we get the time, as most couples do, however the matron behind the bar took HUGE offence to this and asked us to leave. I asked her what her problem was and if she would allow a straight couple to kiss and she said simply she didn't allow 'our sort' in here and ejected us. I asked for her name to report her to the Hate Crime Police and she provided it. I then tweeted about this pub to all my 3,206 Twitter followers and told them to avoid it as it was not tolerant. I have written to the Daily Mail and Mary Portas about this grossly unfair matter and will be seeking damages it is disgusting, we are planning to spend the winnings on a house in Majorca and maybe a new Porsche. Thank you to this website for alerting us to this pub, we are looking for other intolerant places to sue, if you can please PM me if you know some nearby. Thank you, Santana and Kenneth x

27 Mar 2013 10:37

The Black Horse, Thurnham

I was invited on a evening out last weekend and - woe betide - the group decided, despite my protests, that this pub was a good'un. I protested but eventually relented; I decided to approach with an open mind, the sort of open mind that the owners clearly like to shove down our throats at every turn, if you like! NOTHING has changed, it is full of butch womyn with pixie cuts wearing thick-rimmed pseudo intellectual glasses even though their eyesight is 20:20. One of them got out her iPad - who brings an iPad to a "pub"? I stomached it, I was being polite after all, but couldn't wait to leave. Then came the bill, what a joke, a "£20.00 gratuity lesbianism tariff" had been added, surely this is illegal and discriminatory to boot. I made sure to swipe a copy of the receipt and have forwarded it on to Mary Portas as well as Trading Standards. (Mary Portas did get back to me, but said this tariff was something she had been campaigning for, ludicrous!) .

Mysteryposter, It is unfortunate that you had found issue with my grammar but didn't have anything to say on the pub itself, presumably you are a local scissor sister on the take, trying to promote this pub's lifestyle to everyone, please stop shoving it down our throats, this is a straight society and so it shall stay. Pathetic.

22 Mar 2013 11:06

The Humphrey Bean, Tonbridge

Whats the point in featuring Wetherspoons pubs on BITE? It doesn't tick any of the usual boxes that people here seem to value, i.e. it isn't filled with boring old men, it won't have obscure ales made in a shed down the road .. and there certainly won't be any "friendly" banter with the over the top barmaid who's only interested in your boring conversation about politics as she wants your money.

I go to this pub because I want a) cheap beer and occasionally b) cheap food and I want a place to sit down not huddle round an old bar with a bunch of bearded pseudo-toffs. Of course it's full of the usual dregs and drunks of society, as is the case with every Wetherspoons, but that's half the fun.

22 Mar 2013 10:50

The Rock, Chiddingstone Hoath

Picasso - Women should not be allowed in pubs.

7 Dec 2012 15:25

The Leicester Arms, Penshurst

Yes I agree it's revolting in here there are much better pubs my favourite for a great night is the Bottle fun for all the family, give it a try!

30 Nov 2012 15:27

The Merry Boys Inn, East Peckham

Now closed as they are building houses there

30 Nov 2012 11:35

Arkwright Arms, Chesterfield

Went in there last Thursday, absolutely FULL to the brim with Northerners. We left very quickly. Be warned. Thanks, Daniel and Katherine, Surrey

27 Sep 2012 12:41

Elm Tree, Paddock Wood

Had a chat with a rather friendly Irish gentleman in here who offered me a very good price to tarmac my drive, however it didn't ever come to fruition. I have been back in to find him but he hasn't been there, although another gentleman - again Irish - offered me a very low price on some uPVC windows, a large stash of electrical tools and a used horsebox complete with horse. A very good place to buy cheap items.

27 Sep 2012 12:38

The Golding Hop, Plaxtol

The fact is that all the people who like this pub are just too broke/tight to go anywhere else.... you tolerate the miserable arse of a landlord because you cannot afford to go to a better pub. In all honesty Eddy is a total jerk, he ejected me and my partner from his pub after we asked him if the lady serving was interested in watching us doing some docking later, it later transpired they have been married for 40 years. Eddy should learn to take a joke, what a pr*ck!!

7 Aug 2012 11:30

The Padwell Arms, Seal

Indeed, terrible terrible news. I am in mourning, I would equate it to the loss of a child even. To all the regulars at the Padwell, I am so sorry for our collective loss, I feel completely lost and bemused. I may as well just end it all now. I think collective suicide might be the way forward now, the future is just a dark black tunnel and we are all heading into it at full throttle. :(

7 Aug 2012 11:24

The Black Horse, Thurnham

I have to say, this pub is bland bland BLAND. We had heard ALL SORTS about it from friends, so paid it a visit, but now I don't understand the reviews here at all. The matron serving was rude, frigid, dowdy and rejected my drunk partner's inappropriate advances - presumably a Magnus Pike, it's just a BIT OF STR8 FUN yes we are straight. The pub is most certainly large, but is more of a wannabe gastro pub than a real boozer - there are better places to eat at, in better company and better surroundings very nearby. But worst of all, the food was VERY disappointing (very long wait as well) so we politely requested to have it for free as we didn't feel we could eat all of it (partner said it tasted like a penis?), but matron declined our request, said we will need to pay for EVERYTHING we ordered! Well I found this to be completely unreasonable and so we politely asked if l we could at least be offered another sirloin each for free as a goodwill gesture, but then OH MY GOD she then asked us to pay for everything or she'll call the police.......!. My partner asked her why we should pay for 100% of something... when we've only eaten 95% of it as we are not like other customers, and then without warning the manager appeared, FLYING across the room like a thing possessed, shouting expletives at us, clicking her fingers incessantly trying to intimidate us, whipping her hair frantically with her subtle lesbian ways. The other guests were clearly amazed at this understated show of sexually-charged power, a real lioness of a lady, dressed in pinafore. The elderly woman on the table adjacent to us began removing her panties, sucking her upper lip and twiddling her hair - I could not take any more of this and we made a dash for it, out of this queer bar and fled the scene without looking back. I cannot give this pub more than a 1/10 rating because I do not agree with this lifestyle at all. Thanks, David and Peter.

7 Aug 2012 10:57

The George and Dragon, Ightham

Enjoyed an overpriced and bland meal amongst the company of some OTT city banker sorts, who were quaffing the champagne as if it was Christmas bonus-time already. The serving rugby brute - whose mind was clearly more focused on London Irish than London Pride - did not exactly make us feel welcome. Things took a turn for the worse when he asked matter-of-factly if I wanted to join him for a 'scrum'; completely ambivalent to this fan-dangled new-found term, I agreed.

Boy, he looked strong, and had two big fat thighs like a thoroughbred stallion. He disappeared, and I heard him calling for me from deep in the kitchen, and then found him sitting on the worktop, nothing but a Sports Direct mug covering his modesty, with his fat thighs far apart and his face deep red with anger and a cane in his hand. He whipped me HARD, like an angry nurse whipping a child's bottom, and with that I realised I had been mislead, made my excuses and left through the back door as quickly as I could, only to then be accosted by a very odd little half-ling in the car park who insisted on calling me "Daddy" and asked if I wanted to be spanked in his BMW-Mini. A very odd pub indeed and also a lack of real cask ales here, so I cannot rate higher than a 4.

To read the rest of this and other reviews, you can purchase Cashpig Evans' Guide to Kent & Sussex Pubs (ISBN-10: 1905548052), available from all good retailers.

Cashpig Evans

12 Jul 2012 14:21

The Bell, Golden Green

Drove past this pub many times and could never quite work up the effort to go in. However I am glad I did eventually take the plunge - this establishment is owned by a very affable old man. Opted for the Harveys. No complaints.

23 Mar 2012 10:56

The Two Brewers, Hadlow

Great pub, fresh food on sale at all hours.

23 Mar 2012 10:55

Roebuck, Maidstone

Not really, less than 10 reviews in 6 months... Do forgive me for spending my excessive paycheques so readily in local eateries.

22 Feb 2012 20:39

The Abergavenny Arms Hotel, Frant

Went into this pub last month with my husband and children and I feel compelled to write my review here, I originally put off reviewing it because I feared I'd identify myself but that is not my concern now since reading the other reviews it sounds like our situation is common.

We ordered the Duc l'Orange which was overcooked and leathery, and the orange was obviously, at best, a chocolate one. Hubbie's beef was apparently revolting and tasted "like bull semen". My son's fishfingers from the Kid's menu looked like they had been in the deepfryer for months. The wine was corked also. I informed the landlady about our disappointment politely in a non-confrontational manner and she erupted in front of us, I could not believe her tone and I could feel the sweat on my neck and I am not an easily intimidated lady. Hubbie wolfed down the remainder of the revolting meal and wine then informed her we would be leaving without paying due to her VERY aggressive tone. She picked up the now completely empty wine bottle on our table and took a swing at my husband with it and knocked him on the head with a thud.

At this point the other guest's audibly gasped and my son (6 year's old, plays the Piano and Tuba and is going to Oxbridge) started to cry. I was FURIOUS that this woman was reducing my family to this on our day out, so we ignored her and just walked to the exit, with her cursing and hissing closely behind us the whole way.

We hurried outside, to find the sous-chef had chained himself to our car bonnet. A fight ensued as the hissing banshee clambered down the steps toward us and started pelting us with cheap french furniture. It was like a scene out of a movie. Their kitchen staff and several guests had gathered at the spectacle but she sent them back inside; I could see they were all terrified of this evil woman. At this point an alarmed patron phoned the police but they told him that they were refusing to come out to a disturbance at this pub again as it was "too common an occurrence" - I kid you not!!

We eventually prized the sous-chef off our car and ran down the landlady who was wailing out "not again" which also suggests that this has happened before, and made our exit.

I would advise everyone to go to this pub, to leisurely eat and drink everything on the menu then tell the landlady how revolting it is, start a fight with her and then you don't need to pay for anything. I have also added this guide to the MoneySavingExpert website for those who are looking to save cash in these hard times.

Despite what you might expect, we are going back here on Tuesday. A+++

2 Jan 2012 21:42

The Lord Raglan, Staplehurst

Quite small and dark, not particularly cheap, however the food and ales are very good. Just take a map so you can find it......

2 Jan 2012 20:59

Roebuck, Maidstone

Wow, the Roebuck. Allegedly, the best pub in Kent according to BITE's completely open and fair voting system. Hmm... I'm going to break the mould here in two ways:

1) I have more than one post on this account and nobody else who has posted their review this year does - and,
2) I'm going to call it exactly what it is: average.

Food was average, beef was overcooked. Not particularly great value. Not a massive selection of ales either. I must say however it's cosy inside, and I would go here again. But 9/10? Come on.

Credit where it's due though, the publican's spending some time (but not money, clearly) in marketing his pub on the internet.

2 Jan 2012 20:58

The Blue Boar Hotel, Maldon

A truly brilliant pub worthy of it's inclusion in the BITE top 10. The twigs by the fireplace and the "jus" available - as opposed to gravy - mean I go here every time.

2 Jan 2012 20:51

The Padwell Arms, Seal

Why is the phrase "an axe to grind" so prevalent on this website? Are there any other worn out phrases from 1971 that I should know about in order to fit in guys? Christ, I already swig copious amounts of flowery 'real' ale to suit my rather narrow-minded palate and bleat on ad nauesum about it to any other bearded old sap who'll listen. I have that box ticked.. Any more?

2 Jan 2012 20:46

The Rose And Crown, East Peckham

It is with the highest level of disgust that I write this review on this place, that tries to pass itself off as "restaurant" but falls short miserably.

Where to begin? My family and I went here last night and had tremendous difficulty firstly in finding a place to park, as there was rubbish strewn across the entire car park. Not a good start. My wife suggested that we try somewhere else but I insisted that we persevere after hearing about their reputedly excellent "2 meals for a fiver" deal.

Upon entering, we were greeted - in Punjabi - by a smarmy sort indeed. He THREW the menus at us and insisted we speak in a South Asian dialect - "or not at all". My wife is well-travelled so was acquiescing to this; I was however furious and demanded to see the management. This was met with a hiss: "Diss is manager" he said, as he pointed to the brass elephant statue on the other side of the room.

At that point, the roof started to leak even though it wasn't
raining and rainwater isn't brown nor viscous. My wife notified the waiter about this, and he quickly disappeared into the kitchen. Another worker came out shortly after and asked us to move tables, because we were at risk of "getting infectionings" from the leak. The stench from the putrid liquid was revolting and not something I will easily forget. At this point the surly waiter reappeared, clearly he had forgotten to bring the bucket so - lo and behold - reached for my son's dinner plate and used that instead, to scoop up the disgusting mess on the floor. He then disappeared into the kitchen with it and goodness knows what happened to it.

We made our excuses and left without paying.

23 Nov 2011 15:22

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