The Royal Pug, Leamington Spa

Juggling Jon saw poo in the wall (see previous review)? Did the builders run short on polyfilla? I missed that one but there are several humourous framed icons of popular culture adjourning the walls where a massive photoshoped banger has subtly been added. My favourite is the last supper canvas on the ceiling beam to your left at the bar although in Bob Marley's case surely as a rastafarian this is just disrespectful now that he's puffing some herb(ed lincolnshire product). After all he was a sage master.

On both occassions i've been in here they've had Old Hooky as a regular ale often with another Hook Norton or Wye Valley beerpump as well. Very distinct aromas emanating from the floor similar to the flatulence of stampeding cattle last time i went in late doors mind, just thought y'all should know

18 Apr 2011 17:59

Dockers, Leamington Spa

I have an interesting yarn to spin about this joyless 50s diner next to Leamington Assembly Rooms. During the day all is well & good if ya wanna chilli dog from a can with fries, a decent shake & some novelty kitsch appeal whilst mother's in town. But after dark its anything but the diners you see in Quentin Tarantino films i.e. soul-sapping and deserted with abrupt, reluctant staff who don't do small talk telling you at 10pm they close in 20 minutes after pouring you a giant pitcher of sickly sweet orange cocktail. Me, my favourite gal & our mates down for the weekend were the only 6 in there & you get the impression they'd rather not stay open evenings anyroad. Ale they have not although to be fair where did in 50s America? Maybe some moonshine under the counter wouldn't go amiss though

18 Apr 2011 17:39

The Lock, Dock and Barrel, Leamington Spa

Sounding like a knock-off Guy Ritchie dvd from t'market has done this previously very cheery light green & yellow painted pub no favours. Since i moved into a maisonette opposite it has been empty and condemned and has now been half-rebuilt by O'Neill building contractors leaving the other half covered in scaffolding looking pretty out of place & imprisoned by its own garish uncertainty so possibly an Irish chain bar is the best we can hope for lads...tbc

18 Apr 2011 17:27

The Falstaff, Derby

The Landlord here has been brewing his own beers onsite (or a garage/shed next door if you�re being picky) since 2003 and every single one is visible above the impressively ornamented fireplace of the backroom with a jukebox & pool table. The 4 local-as-they-come brews upon our visit were pretty pun-erific with Fistful of hops, Hop till you drop & (Are You Ready) Do the Bus Hop! (alright I made that last one up). Pur-chased myself a couple of conditioned ales for bottled nostalgia including a fierce 13.1% ABV blinding master--blaster entitled Supernova. Homemade (well, naturally) cask labels are always entertaining and many of these are no exception with a seemingly ongoing comedy legends series. Every square inch of wall space features fascinating apparatus from Elijah Scattergood & Sons brewer�s taps to barometers surrounded by dark wooden tribal figures. The �Nuclear Science� Soviet-esque sign en route to the shitter is also particularly sniggerworthy. The Gents has a giant blackboard inviting feedback (chalk provided) as preferred to petty graffiti or territorial pissing. Put simply, every aspect of this crumbling secret haven is a million miles removed from your typical workaday chain bar and subsequently should be treasured as everything in our modern pub industry that is under threat. I caught the train home very hoppy indeed and could only titter menacingly in an all-knowing fashion to myself when I passed the Coors ahem �brewery�.

18 Apr 2011 17:13

The Alexandra Hotel, Derby

Butter my breeches these ales were divine last weekend. Often prefer drinking halves so as to sample/savour twice as much flavour and plumped for the happy union of Nott's Castle Rock & Wildlife Trust's latest monthly 'Meadow' which had bags of creamy chocolate malt without being too smooth or rich making this one of the finest stouts I've tried in some time. They also have quality local pork or huntsman's pies which go down extra well with a Bamberg Rauchbier i.e. Smoked Dark Bavarian Beer (resulting in smoked pork - though i'd be lying in claiming that I was the first to ever appreciate this knockout combo). The Bamberg tastes quite literally like the essence of barbacue near a pagan bonfire under a crimson flamed moon (Jeez where do i get this stuff from? Might cut down on the similes for the time being). This UNESCO world heritage sited beer is bottom-fermented using just the holy trinity of the finest bavarian hops, pure water and smoked malt (no yeast in the least?) which is 'kilned over a fire of beechwood logs'. So more or less exactly as i tasted then - minus the animal sacrifice before i got carried away

18 Apr 2011 16:38