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BITE user comments - Muffindamule

Comments by Muffindamule

The Swan, Brentwood

As mentioned by others on this site, this was once a smashing pub with everything going for it. It is now the worst pub I have had the displeasure to visit in Brentwood. Truly abominable. My recommendation ? Give it as wide a berth as you possibly can. Not even worth using as a shortcut through to the back of the High Street !

9 Jun 2012 07:28

Moon On The Square, Basildon

It has been almost seven years since I last reviewed this pub and I can honestly say that little has changed in that time. The smell of stale beer and toilet duck continues to permeate the air and I am still waiting for that half of shandy.
On a slightly more positive note, the hammer shaft which I had left on display in trap one during my last visit is no longer there. Either it has decomposed , been stolen or someone has had the audacity to flush it away. Fred, the elderly gent who used to sit at the first table on the left as you enter from The Towngate, was no longer there either and may well have suffered a similar fate.
The usual market traders were conspicuous by their absence on this occasion and had been replaced by representatives of the travelling community who appeared to be letting off steam after a hard day's work. I finally left at half past ten as I wanted to get back home to Billericay by lunchtime to check that noone had stolen the lead from the roof during my short absence.

19 Nov 2011 22:57

The Blue Boar, Billericay

Has greatly improved over the past year or so. Staff are quicker off the mark and a deal more friendly than they used to be. Food is reasonable. Some amazingly good offers on some good beers. The free wifi is an excellent service and one which it would be nice to see being offered by a few more establishments in the area. This pub is certainly now back on track. Well done !

16 Mar 2009 12:52

The Coal Hole, Strand

If Timothy Taylor WERE the landlord then maybe things would be a bit better. As it is, the place has not improved since my last visit and I have to give it a big fat zero. Now how do you say that in Polish ?

14 Jun 2006 12:51

Catcracker, Stanford Le Hope

Filthy, noisy, smelly and generally unwelcoming. O.K.,so much for the locals. The pube itself must surely rate as one of the worst in Essex. A disgrace to the business. The gents was in a disgusting state with overflowing urinals and a blocked bowl in trap one - and that at 7 p.m.! Quite repugnant. I shall not be returning.

13 Mar 2006 13:30

Windmill, Stansted Airport

Indeed VERY expensive beer. I did not have breakfast as Air Berlin were to supply me with one of their delicious in-flight cheese rolls shortly after take off. Nevertheless, a lot of people were eating brekkies (tradiditional fry) and the food looked tempting enough. Polite bar staff and hard working table staff. Nice to be able to have a last pint before flying abroad. Shame it has(?) to be so outrageously expensive. Might also be worth bearing in mind that you may have to wait until 30,000 feet for the next opportunity of using a toilet !

13 Mar 2006 13:09

The Blue Boar, Billericay

Now gone downhill like so many other pubs in Billericay. The loutish behaviour in and around the place of a weekend simply beggars belief. The 'bouncers' employed here should take a few driving lessons too before they start playing Starsky and Hutch along the High Street. Their place is at the door of 'The Boar' and NOWHERE ELSE !
It would be nice to think that the management of this establishment may read and take note of these comments. Any action taken on their part can only serve to improve things as they simply can't get worse ! Not a pub I'd recommend to anyone.

3 Jan 2006 12:20

The Coach and Horses, Billericay

Recently revisited the C&H as well as a number of other pubs in Billericay . The C&H has fortunately not changed and must now be rated as THE best pub in town. The meal I had was truly excellent. Being off the High Street it doesn't get troubled by the louts who spoil things in the rest of the town. I think I'll give an eight or a nine. Maybe nine and a half in four beer's time !

3 Jan 2006 12:08

The Crosse Keys, Bank

Very poor management. Wetherspoons can do and have done a lot better in other parts of town !

21 Feb 2005 14:40

The Hamilton Hall, Liverpool Street

A mind-blower of a pub if you still have your head on come leaving time. The average Essex boy can only manage 2 pints of pissy lager these days before becoming punch drunk it would seem. Considering the fact that you have to pay for your drinks in this place I would advise staying (or going back home to) Billericay and getting your fill from the local off-licence. O.K. , it's not free either but at least you'll be safer and can feel satisfied that you've spent only a fraction of that which you would otherwise have done. Grub ? FORGET IT !

21 Feb 2005 14:14

The Boars Head, Herongate

Any place situated on the Billericay Road has got to have something going for it. This pub does its location full justice. Not too busy of a weekday. Very comfortable surroundings. Simply a good place to visit if you're looking for a quiet drink in a civilised atmosphere. Who knows, you might even meet Muffin in there. He'll be the one sitting in the corner with a pink carnation button hole and a copy of The Telegraph opened at the leisure page.

13 Feb 2005 10:40

The Castlemayne, Basildon

This place rocks ! Nocks many other Bas pubs for six. Not a difficult proposition I admit. Well worth looking in. Disappointment unlikely. Please mention Muffin when you go there. Bound to raise a smile at the bar !

8 Feb 2005 16:52

The Red Lion, Upper Basildon

Over six quid for a hamburger ! I think I'll go home and pop into Burger King on the way back. Might not be as good but NO burger can be worth that kind of money ! RIDICULOUS !!!!

8 Feb 2005 16:47

The Beehive, Upper Basildon

Phew ! What a gaff ! Bas all over. Just forget you ever went there ( or intended to ).

8 Feb 2005 16:42

Moon On The Square, Basildon

Good Lord ! It rather looks as though I have upset the landlord ! Please accept my unreserved apologies for the comments I made last month. Obviously I was confusing the excellent and world renowned Moony On The Square with the rather obscure London Hilton.

Yours with cheek in tongue,

P.S. A half a shandy when you've got a minute please.

3 Feb 2005 18:56

The Railway, Pitsea

A wonderful pub. The locals (I had the impression that many of them are in the market trade) are a wonderful bunch and made my wife and I feel so welcome that we felt we'd been using the place for years. In fact it was our first visit but it won't be our last. One or two of the pubs in nearby Basildon could certainly learn a thing or two from this place. Great bar staff and a good selection of food. Clean tables and toilets. Highly recommended.

3 Feb 2005 17:12

The Red Lion, Billericay

If you are after tart then this is the place to go ! Anything from quiche to apple. Gets very crowded of a weekend. A lot of history attached to this pub. Well worth popping in.

31 Jan 2005 09:44

The Albion, Aldershot

Good food and a friendly atmosphere. Not easy to find in Aldershot. I've visited a number of pubs in the town and this is without doubt the best I've come across to date.

23 Jan 2005 21:00

The Old Dog, Herongate

I'm tempted to suggest that the pub takes it's name from a certain member of the staff there. I'll not do so though as this would be rude and completely untrue. The place is so good that I'd be a fool to run the risk of getting barred !
Seriously, a marvellous pub and well worth a visit.

23 Jan 2005 20:40

The Nags Head, Ramsden Heath

Went in here for an evening meal almost a year ago. Food was excellent as was the service. Friendly bar staff too. Dad had his usual gammon steak and was very impressed (he's a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to gammon!).Great choice of beer. For anyone thinking of eating there at the weekend I'd advise booking a table as they become rare around about 8pm. I'm looking forward to my next visit. Fish, chips and peas for me !

23 Jan 2005 20:28

The Smith and Western, Chichester

The bees knees when it comes to value for money. A great place for all the family. I recommend you go there and find out what it's all about. You won't regret it !

20 Jan 2005 22:56

The Hoop, Stock

Without doubt the best pub for miles around if you're after real ale. The scrumpy, which was on offer when I last visited, was excellent. There were a couple of 'hoity toity ate a potata' types at the bar but I suppose one has to expect that in Stock. In any case it did not prevent my friends and I enjoying a wonderfull evening out at affordable prices. There is also a regular bus service into Billericay or Chelmsford. The bus stop is right outside the pub !

20 Jan 2005 22:15

The Nell Gwynne, Covent Garden

Very nice. A great atmosphere in here. I'll give it an eight - and I'm not usually that generous !

20 Jan 2005 21:55

Henry's Cafe Bar, Covent Garden

Sing if you're glad to be gay. Well you'ld have good cause to at this place. It would seem that being straight is no longer deemed to be acceptable. I can't help being what I am and I make no bones about it. I'm certainly not going to change my sexual inclinations for the privilege of being allowed entry into this rather drab looking watering hole. They really should display a sign outside reading 'Not Gay ? Then Stay Away'. It would save a lot of people a lot of hassle. Can't comment on the quality of beer or food as I never got to try any. If service begins at the door then this place gets a fat zero from me !!!

20 Jan 2005 21:44

The Cross Keys, Covent Garden

Great pub. Good beer well served by friendly staff. Interesting decor. Well worth a visit. Puts many other 'pubs' in the area to shame.

20 Jan 2005 21:27

The Coal Hole, Strand

Coal Hole? More like Shite Hole ! Shockingly expensive with the most unfriendly bar staff you are likely to find anywhere this side of Warsaw. I don't know how they get away with it. If you do decide to have a drink here then I strongly advise steering clear of the beers. A glass of orange juice is safer and as for the food.........a bag of crisps perhaps ?

20 Jan 2005 21:19

The Avondale Arms, Plymouth

Just the place to take the wife for a meal !

20 Jan 2005 20:45

Woodpecker, Hutton

One for the posers. Don't expect a good pint and friendly service or you'll be disappointed !

20 Jan 2005 08:38

The Castle, Brentwood

Great place if you're not too fussy about the decor. A people's pub. The Castle was in its hey day in the early 70's when you could have a game of pool or darts and nip into the Chinese for a takeaway ( Veg Curry and Boiled Rice for 15p believe it or not) on the way back to work or home. Even today one of the best pubs in Brentwood.

20 Jan 2005 08:34

The Chequers, Billericay

A bit grubby. Used to be a great place but now rather loud and run down.

20 Jan 2005 08:22

The Hope Hotel, Southend on Sea

Nice place. Certainly one of the few pubs in the area where you can take the kids along and have a drink and a snack without any hassle. Friendly and polite staff. I'll give it a good 7.

14 Jan 2005 00:28

The Alex, Southend on Sea

Has to be a 7 from me. Luv it. Good beer.Good music too. One for the younger generation but the over 20s get a look in too ! I wish I were among them !

14 Jan 2005 00:17

The Cork and Cheese Ale House, Southend on Sea

Certainly one of the better pubs in the area. Good beer. An asset to Southend. Will give it a 7. Would normally have been a 6 but given the very poor standard of the other places I've visited in Southend I think it only fair that this place should shine a little. Well worth popping into.

14 Jan 2005 00:10

Charlies Bar, Southend on Sea

One of the worst pubs in the area. If you want to fight then join a boxing club ! Filthy place with virtually nothing going for it. Can't understand why the local authorities tolerate such establishments. Makes me (and a lot of other people) think that some big money is changing hands somewhere. Should be closed down !!

14 Jan 2005 00:00

Moon On The Square, Basildon

Full of market traders and dodgy characters. Dirty tables, dirty toilets and surly service. Well worth a visit if you're looking to claim on the Criminal Injuries Act or are desperate for a little something for the weekend. Just about sums up the whole of Basildon actually.

13 Jan 2005 20:56

The Windmill Tavern, East Hanningfield

Rather doubted the authenticity of the previous two reviews so decided to find out for myself as I've not been to this pub for a good many years.
Turns out the place is every bit as good as it is made out to be. Everything a pub should be in my opinion. The food was heavenly. No big screen or blaring muzak. A proffesionally run establishment where the customer is still considered and treated as a guest (something which is very hard to find these days). Very friendly and considerate locals. No effin and blindin here and a great place to take female company. TOP NOTCH !

13 Jan 2005 20:45

The Inn on the Green, Billericay

Not what I would class as a traditional pub despite the name. In fact if the state of the toilets is anything to go by I can well understand why the Pilgrim Fathers did a runner. Maybe my last visit was on an 'off day' Nevertheless, friendly bar staff and reasonable pub grub. For some reason the beer never seems to have much flavour but it no doubt comes from the same type of sealed cask that is used by most other bubs. Maybe it's just the atmosphere that affects the taste buds.

13 Jan 2005 20:28

Quilters, Billericay

Not really a pub at all. More like a Kindergarten in fact. Don't know where the customers come from but I wish they'd go back there. Wouldn't give this place the steam off my warm pint (lucky if you get served a full one) of lager. OK at the end of a pub crawl - to use the toilets before legging it home - but I wouldn't waste my money or time by staying longer than needed for a Jimmy. I certainly don't rate this place as an asset to Billericay (you may have noticed).

13 Jan 2005 20:14

The Coach and Horses, Billericay

Nice (usually) quiet pub. Good bar staff. Good beer. A bit on the pricey side even by B'cay standards. Clean and comfy. Only just off town centre so if you decide you don't want to stay long it's only a short walk to find another pub. All in all one of the better pubs in Bill.

13 Jan 2005 09:25

The Blue Boar, Billericay

By far the cheapest place to drink in Bill. Food very good value. Good choice of beer and the daily newspaper hung out for customers to read (a nice touch that). Bit of a magnet for trouble seekers of a weekend unfortunately. At times I think the staff would be more at home flipping burgers at Burger King but if Weatherspoons are not offering enough incentive then they are unlikely to be rewarded with much better. All in all well worth a visit.

13 Jan 2005 09:17

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