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BITE user comments - CALCULON500

Comments by CALCULON500

The Golden Stool, Tottenham

AAAARRRRRGGHHH!! IM IN THE GOLDEN STOOL...................AGAIN! this is what goes through my head whenever i find myself in the golden stool. It's allways the same! I'm drinking up town with mates, I stagger on to a night bus and fall asleep, the next thing i know i'm in the golden stool. This pub is weird they sell beer in cans. Despite being the only white person in there the other punters were friendly enough. the barman did look at me as if i was insane though. The music was hard and heavy dance with an african MC. quite an interesting experience. Once i realise where i am i finish up my can of redstripe and make for the exit.
i have a feeling that this puib is now closed

14 Dec 2006 16:47

The Dutch House, Tottenham

This pub is my local and i've been in it several times. It's a bit depressing at first but the more beer you have the better it gets. Sometimes they have a darts thing going on in there and it;s really lively. I went in with my brother once and a friendly guy tried to buy my brothers kebab off him! we all laughed and then me and my bro sat down, got comfortable and watched the spectacular site of two big drunk tatooed blokes arm in arm singing "i got you babe" on the kareoke whislt looking into each others eyes. But the best thing, for me, about this pub is the fact that i can say, when directing people to my house from the tube station, "pass the dutch house on the left hand side" i've allways loved musical youth. i feel that they waould also like this pub and i wouldnt be supprised if they drink in there.

14 Dec 2006 16:02

The Crown and Sceptre, Fitzrovia

Well i needed a place to meet my friends to celebrate my recent birthday and as a few of them work near this pub the desicion was made and a time set. On entering this pub i noticed to my dismay that it was packed to the rafters with the type of friday evening post office media company punters that usually make me spin round and head straight back out the door. As i was early and meeting people i coulndnt do this. Luckily my Lovely girlfriend was waiting with a pint of cooking lager for me. The place was so full we were standing up near some idiots talking about media and trying hard to impress each other with thier sickening faces and stupid scruffy but expensive and fashionable clothes. It always amazes me what people will wear if they think its fashionable. anyway back to the pub review. the beer was ok and the barmaids were friendly and atractive. The decor is typical for this king of clientel sruffy but fashionable and expensive and a bit boring. there is a nice pub underneath the crapulence hopefully someone, oneday, will show it off.

4 Dec 2006 15:37

The Baldwin, Hall Green

The baldwins, the hub of the locality. all alleyways on the bad side of the stratford road lead to the baldwins roundabout. I know that this is true from extensive BMX exploration in the late eighties. So you can imagine my delight when my bad teenage moustach finaly developed to the stage where i could convince the slightly mutated bar staff at the baldwins pub i was 18 years old.
This pub is a living peice of history the building itself is listed. The architect, a mr Edwin Reynolds, designed this building in the 30's to look like half of the famous ship the queen mary. the other half of the ship is the three magpies in acocks green. God knows why they are so far apart? you would have thought that he would have done just one big pub that looked like the entire boat? Aallegedly he was a smack head.
despite it's historic and listed status this pub is UGLY and fits in to the drab vaguely run down surroundings of the area well. Also for some reason when you enter this pub you enter a space untouched by modern dentsitry. thats right, not one full set of teeth in there.
This pub has allways had a bad rep! the locals are of the rougher type and don't take kindly to outsiders! not sure what it is like now but at the weekends the whole place was literaly crawling with the smelly and rather grotty looking ofspring of the pubs gold nacklaced, tatooed necked clientel. so avoid at all costs if you dislike hoards of mini chavs
The last time i was in there (about 8 years ago) me, my brother, and a good friend partook in the quiz our team was called "phil Mcrack" we took on the locals. Needless to say we lost. as usual!

On the whole this pub and the people in it are an eyesore.

14 Feb 2006 21:17

The Drawbridge, Shirley

the "drawback"

this pub is in a nice location, just outside of the bland, suburban, UPVCd windowed sprawl of shirley. So it could qualify itself as a counrty pub. As a former resident of said suburban settlrment i used to frequent this pub on occasion as the location did have a certain counrty feel to it.

Walking from shirley staion,the road curves round as you approach the drawbridge. the actual canal drawbridge looms into view and then you catch sight of the pub.

CRAP! that would be your inital thought when looking at the pub from the outside. the building looks like an 80's health clinic or something, you know, one of those buildings that looks like it was designed to fit in with the car park. Anyway, Only bearded tubby guys with embroiderd waistcoats, their own tankanrd and a love of morris dancing go to the pub because of how it looks on the outside. so lets get to the pub itself.

I see from a prevoius review that this pub now has an anti chav rule. GOOD! when i used to go this pub was infested with chavs of all shape and size, not to mention their awfull modified cars. Nearly every drinking experience in this pub was ruined for me by baseball capped idiots finding strenth in numbers.

However, and it's a big however! I did have one of the best daytime drinking experience of my life in this chav's nest of a pub when i was about 18.
I was in the beer garden with a friend one fine hot summers day and a couple of girls from our college turned up and sat with us. well to cut a long story short we all got drunk and i walked one of the girls home whilst it was still very hot and sunny. She turned out to be dirtier then a pub carpet and we had a good old romp in a field, in the sun, near witlocks end station (when it was all fields) aaaahhhh those were the days.

Well to summerise.

ok,this pub is quite dull but has potential if its not full of chavs.
good in the summer, especially if you get lucky!

14 Feb 2006 15:36

The Colebrook Inn, Shirley

I have allways had a love/hate relationship with the colebrook, well, maybe not love but an approval/hate relationship.

This Pub was my Local as my Mum lived round the corner and it was my closest drinking establishment. In fact, i bought my first evr pint in there at the tender age of 15. 96p for a pint of brew xi.

In those days the colebrook was two rooms a big lounge and a tiny superbly crappy bar full of fat dudes drinking smoking and playing darts. I never really went in there as it smelt of farts.

The lounge was much as it is now, in fact i think some of the staff are the same. The best things about this place were the.....Hang on?.....Thats right this pub is a convenient meeting place and thats about it it is almost completely devoid of atmosphere and the people that drink there probably don't realise that there are other pubs close by.
So if you want to stand in a big room and watch the people from the surrounding suburban area drink the same beers over and over agian everyday of their dull lives, then this is the place for you.
they also have a beer garden wwhich looks suspiciously like a car park.

nice staff though!

14 Feb 2006 13:50

The Saracens Head, Shirley

I think this pub has allways had an identity crisis. As a former citizen of Shirley i used to frequent this pub on a fairly regular basis. there has always been a mixed crowd in here that stratify themselves convieniently from left to right. ranging from teenage drunk chavs up to mild mannered middle agers enjoying a meal. So benefits: 1 you will allways fit in depending on where abouts you sit! 2 the more drunk you get the more you can stray to the roudier and more drunk side of the venue.

However according to the laws of the universe there allways some bad points, so here they are:
Food is grim
the decor is bad and needs sorting
it's a bit depressing
i paid a visit recently and a tramp sat next to me and he smelt of wee

to round it up then:
Not a bad pub bit of everything but not great either.

14 Feb 2006 13:36

The Plume of Feathers, Shirley

i usesd to drink in this pub fairly regularly about 10 years ago. the louge room at the back is a good size and used to play allsorts of sports on the big screen. the barmaids were ace in those days and i even think i got lucky with one of them once! anyway every time i went in to this pub with mates for a "quick pint" it usually turned into a giant booze fuelled adventure where i would wake up the next day in sutton coldfield on someones floor with more money then i went out with. For this reason the Plume will allways have a special place in my heart.
when it became fashionable in pubs to have those "swisher" things in the urinals to stop fag butts blocking up the stystem the plume subcribed and "swishered" up it's bogs. Within a week someone had stolen one of them! So, some odd locals to watch out for.
They also do a carvery which i have never ever tried.

14 Feb 2006 13:26

The Red Lion, Shirley

I used to drink in this pub about 10/12 years ago. there was a bunch of us that used to stay in the back room and play pool. we were in there pretty much every night. great beer and friendly atnos. i have no idea what it is like now as i haven been in there for a decade!

14 Feb 2006 13:18

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