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Crumpled Horn, Upminster

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user reviews of Crumpled Horn, Upminster

please note - reviews on this site are purely the opinion of site visitors, so don't take them too seriously.

Marstons pub a short walk from Upminster station and with an uninspiring ale range - Banks's Bitter, Marstons Pedigree & Jennings Cumberland Ale. It was cheap enough now and with seemingly no Wetherspoons in Upminster, it serves a purpose. Food seemed to be popular too. The pub itself is a large, single room with some tables with high stools and other tables more suitable for dining.
blue_scrumpy - 11 Oct 2015 21:17
One of the few - well 2 - pubs in central Upminster. I've always found it a bit hit and miss. I've spent some pleasant evenings here drinking with friends. On the other hand I've had some awful meals here. The last time here, my fish was overcooked and dry. Previously I had the fajitas, which were not bad. Beer can be a bit insipid. I don't rate the Marstons beers much and why they bother with the mediocre Banks, god knows.
HornchurchJohn - 13 Feb 2015 16:15
A post New Year drink found the CH surprisingly quiet.

Three real ales were on sale (Marstons EPA & Pedigree and Banks Bitter). Tried a pint of each and was not disappointed.

Good natured staff made for a pleasant evening.
twineyboy - 4 Jan 2014 18:13
This pub seems to have the charm of a Wetherspoon without the Spoon's selling point of a good real ale choice and cheap prices. I cannot believe that they bring Boring old Banks beer all the way from the Midlands. The design of the place is interesting though with the opening windows at the front. They seem to be pitching a pretty dull food range rather strongly but Upminster could well do with more drinking pubs and less cloned pub food. The food here is fairly indistinguishable from Ember pubs down the road. Why can't the owners be a bit different?
elpescado - 4 Jul 2010 17:36
visited a few times and all in all friendly service and good beer... hob goblin on draught .......
gruppe8 - 29 May 2010 10:57
Visited on a Saturday night (8.30pm) for a quick beer before a meal. I have to say that whilst the pub was packed with Upminsters finest of all ages and dress code the overall experience was good. Plenty of staff, a very pleasant pint of Jennings Cocker Hoop and not too pricey.

As someone who lives a mile from this place I don't use it enough these days but will be back.
twineyboy - 25 Apr 2010 19:28
Paid another visit and again the Pedigree was warm and uninspiring and the other beer was a Banks so no choice again .
At least the Plough in Cranham re-opened last week perhaps the staff there will be a bit more friendly and speak to you.
hogshead - 23 Aug 2009 11:02
No decent ales on except Pedigree and Jennings which was flat and warm and undrinkable and full of students and chavs as usual..a waste of time for the discerning real ale drinker.
I wont go there again after last night.
hogshead - 26 Feb 2009 16:29
Full of chavs at night time dont expect a great experience too much loud music and Essex girls.
hogshead - 28 Nov 2008 18:26
Overall a good pub in regards to layout, food choice, and selection of real ales (if not as previously mentioned- a bit overpriced).
However since new management have arrived I feel that there is no atmosphere. When I used to go in this pub I felt welcome and enjoyed a pint in what felt like a second living room. I can clearly feel now, however, that manager seems more intent on running the pub like a concentration camp than a friendly local.
Am interested to see if anyone feels the same?
malibu_n_coke - 29 Apr 2008 13:52
New management seem to have uplifted this pub, good range of well kept ales, reasonable food and the trouble element moved on.
victormildrew - 16 Mar 2008 12:26
Basically, This pub was good when first opened due to manager and all round good atmosphere, no trouble etc.
Since then it has been through several managers each worse than the last. Food and beer (normally run out of some beers)are below par and clientele getting worse since most of the local gangsters have been barred from The Plough in cranham.
I don't ever remember the music being too loud as it is normally off because the neighbours complain about it.
I would like to say quite a few more things about this pub but everytime i make a comment about the horn, yeoman etc someone obviously from the pubs in question, have it removed whether true or not.
In fact the people running the website don't even get in contact with me to decide who is telling the truth.

Kind Regards
TheTruthMaster - 3 Nov 2007 16:38
Horrible, loud, grubby and threatening .
anonymous - 1 May 2007 15:40
On the positive side the beer was good, I was drinking Banks, and the prices were at the same level as other pubs in the area. They ran out of vodka, which seemed to cause panic behind the bar – why don’t they have extra bottles in stock?</br></br>
But WHY DON’T THEY TURN THE MUSIC DOWN. Sorry, had to shout as that is what I ended up doing last night when trying to talk to the person next to me. When the pub opened a few years ago is was run by a very good landlord who came around to talk to people, and the music was kept at a reasonable level. Sadly those days are long gone. </br></br>
The evening started OK but they put the volume of the music up at 9pm. We were trying to order drinks at the bar when we saw them turn the volume up the first time. Within 5 minutes – we were still trying to get served – people started to come up to the bar and ask them to turn it down. Apparently the policy is to keep turning the volume up on Saturday’s as “that is what people want”. After someone finally found the manager he agreed to turn it down. This lasted for about 45 minutes and then it got turned up again…and again…and again. By 10:30 most people had left – we heard people saying that it was too loud – and we followed. If we go back it will only be after learning sign language so there will be no need to shout.

youngs_ter - 11 Mar 2007 07:44
This pub is okay, but that's about it. It is a bit lacklustre: the food isn't very remarkable (needs a complete overhaul!) and the decor is dated. It is quite popular though, so some folks must like it.
anonymous - 13 Nov 2006 18:05
This pub would score so much highly if they actually enforced the "No Smoking" policy in the non-smoking areas on Friday and Saturday nights. Just move the selfish individuals who ignore it into the Smoking bit! Would get an "8" if they did. Gets half that because of the amount of evenings I've been in there and the bar staff have turned a blind eye to this.

Otherwise a very good (if expensive)choice of real ales that are well-kept.
NinjaGeorgie - 25 Aug 2006 13:54
I totally agree with Lakes... it's like we're twinnies or something??? Brilliant pub! Can often be seen crawling out! Lovin git so much I'm going to go a have a binge in there tonight. Quiz lady is too loud though.... other than that 10/10!
Twinnie - 23 Jun 2006 15:51
We love this pub 100%! Seriously though, it's the best 'local' around and we can often be seen there making the most of the cheap doubles or picking up a bottle of wine (or three). It's everything you want in a local pub and surprisingly free of pikeys. Also the quiz machine with Word Up on is brilliant. Hoorah for the Horn.
Lakes - 23 Jun 2006 15:12
Large open plan pub 10 mins walk from Upminster station.Three real ales on tap and the Broadside was in very good condition if not very overpriced at £2.70.
apa - 20 Jun 2006 18:13
first thought this was a weatherspoons but when the price for the round came in it was apparent it wasnt , a bit overpriced and at times packed , but the beers pretty good and seems clean , nice place to start on a night out
romfordir - 7 Feb 2006 11:48
Probably the best pub in town. But that isn't saying much!!
anonymous - 19 Nov 2004 18:33
Nice Pub, Normal priced drinks with a variety of beers on tap. A few good specials too.

Nice food and decor. Quite large, a good place to meet mates.
Gee - 13 Sep 2004 14:05

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