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BITE user profile - senberbex

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Three times winner of Ilford's 'Bloke of The Year' contest (1995, 1997, 2003).
Holder of Waltham Forest record for 70m sprint (age 8-10 yrs) Record has stood since 1980.
I like shouting AAAAAAARRRGGHHH in peoples ears,
I dislike doorbells and corridors with echoes, I never answer either.

Username: senberbex

Age: 46

Sex: male

Latest comments by senberbex

The Railway Bell, South Woodford

Amongst all this post Big Sam turmoil, we’ve watched the falling pound and the fluctuating banana, and the sun has still risen the next day

What we can’t have, though, is Fosters disappearing from our streets. Is it me or are there less FOSTERS taps about? When was the last time you heard two people at each other’s throats, debating the merits or flaws of the amber nectar. Never mind ‘voter shame’. Drinker apathy has taken told of us.

I believe that the BFB should commit to Congress, before this decade is out, to finding the worst pint of Fosters served in London, sending Crow to drink that pint, and then return him safely to South Woodford. We do these things not because they are easy but because they are HARD.

9 Nov 2016 14:39

The King and Castle, Windsor

'Isss bladdy lavvly in there', said the Turkish pilot. 'Isss call King and Castle, opposite Windsor Castle in Eeengland. We flying there now.' I noted his enthusiasm, whilst casually re-engaging the autopilot that he'd mistakenly disabled when his copious beer belly unconsciously pressed against the control panel. 'Now get out of the cockpeet, if the stewardess sees you in here, she'll lash our bare arses'.
With that image burnt on my memory, I took my leave and returned to my seat. Landing at Gatwick, I simply ran from the plane steps to the perimeter fence and scaled it mirthfully. I eschewed immigration and customs and abandoned my luggage. Hampered by Cuban heels, I ran a pain-filled 28 miles as the crow files to the King and Castle across fields, ignoring cat-calls from farmers and wolf whistles of fugitives and holed-up highwaymen.
On arrival, I discovered its unique feature, one the Turkish pilot failed to mention - the pub has no floor. One enters and immediately takes hold of scaffold poles and traverses them 'monkey-bar' style to the bar. Transvestite robots populate the bar and efficiently tell you which 20 ales are unavailable. I was reduced to a gallon of Devil's Backbone. Its rather awkward to drink while you hang from the scaffolds - you have to let go with one hand and swipe your beer from the bar to mouth and back again before you fall into the swamps below. The toilets are another matter entirely - I feel sorry for the poor attendant, balancing and juggling his aftershaves and wares. They really should invest in a floor.

20 Jan 2016 15:50

The Three Kings, Clerkenwell

After fighting earlier in the day in a West-Essex Wetherspoons, (at 10.30am since you ask), this fine pub was a pleasant counterbalance for an evening's discourse with more decent-minded chums. Landlord and two other guest ales were in fine fettle, as was the pretty miss serving behind the ramp. She was from somewhere on the Continent but I couldn't tell where - I kept it strictly business you understand.
Speaking of the Continent, I fell into conversation with a Swiss, who enlightened me on the finer points of two of his favourite national sports - Swingen (a type of wrestling) and Hornussen - which is a cross between enigma and defying any description. 'I cant believe you don't play it here', he entreated. 'What would I need?' I enquired.
'For a pick-up game? Simple - you need the Nussen (puck) the nettes, the zsdickenscwahb (racket)......and a Swiss Farm

1 Apr 2015 14:34

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senberbex has been registered on this site since 20th September 2007