The Swallows Nest, Halesowen

Over the years we have eaten at The Swallows Nest a fair few times. Each time we'd received good service and a standard of food you would expect at such a place.

Tonight we'd booked a table for 15 people to celebrate with family.

The food was undoubtedly the worst we have had the misfortune of being served in as long as we can remember. The standard was so below what could be deemed as acceptable in modern society, we were aghast.

My starter of mushrooms in a white wine and garlic sauce, served on toast with cripsy bacon was completely inedible and had to be returned to the kitchen - without being offered an alternative. The bacon was flacid and the rind hadn't touched any heat. The bread had not been toasted and was swimming in grease.

The mains were disgusting with 7/15 being returned to the kitchen. Two of our party ordered Hunters Chicken. When it arrived it was dry, charred and had a slice of pre-cut, cheap cheese on top of it; it wasn't even grilled. Beads of moisture were on the sweaty cheese from where it had stood in the kitchen. The waitress insisted that was how it was supposed to look. We had all had that dish in the past and knew what to expect - certainly not what we were served.

One member of the party ordered sausages and was going to give some of it to her 2 year old daughter. The first serving was burnt beyond recognition. She ordered a replacement which had obviously been thrown in the deepfat fryer. When she cut the sausage up for her daughter, it had blood in the middle and was completely raw!

If she hadn't noticed, a child could have become seriously ill.

The chef flaty refused to talk to the mother of the child concerned about how he could have endangered her with his poor (and dangerous) cooking.

The manager was not the permanent one, but after various mentions of contacting someone about the standard (and safety) of the food concerned he offered all meals free. That sounds great, until you looked around at all the people who had not eaten anything.

The best part of the evening? Eating the birthday cake that we brought with us.

I would seriously warn anybody about booking a table at this place, expecting a nice evening with good friends and good food.

We will not be returning.

4 Dec 2011 00:10