The Ship Inn, Wandsworth

It appears that either stevieshears has misunderstood the meaning of the word 'disingenuous' (as would appear to be the case in his post of 18th March below) or he/she is accusing me of being somehow deliberately misleading in my review. This is not the case.

Firstly let me get a few things straight: I think this is a fantastic little pub, as do a very large amount of other people, as witnessed by the fact that this place continually draws large crowds, even during the winter. The mangement have supported local musicians by having live music several nights a week; apart from people who simply like drinking here, this has attracted a pretty loyal following of people (myself included) who enjoy watching quality musicians in what I consider a pretty cool pub.

Secondly - and maybe it's because I'm not from these parts - I don't like real ale. As a matter of fact, the general pseudo-mystical, self-importantly reverential malarkey that surrounds it has actually started to make me actively dislike it, like some skiving, seat moistening work colleague that gets away with not doing a tap.

Let me be as far from disingenuous as I possibly can: I can't stand the stuff, and I know quite a few other people - good, law abiding, reasonable people - who can't stand it either. There seems to be some sort of background hum of inverse snobbery on this site whereby if a pub is not a strip lit, hanging-basketed, Victorian throw-back run by some CAMRA Grand Dragon (I'm sure there must be some initation rites at least) who plays constant hurdy-gurdy music in his cellar to keep his yeast happy then it's somehow 'unworthy' or otherwise to be avoided. I just don't care about the real ale. There. I've said it.

I do know, though, that the staff do care. I know this because I've seen them disappear off into the cellar with their rubber mallets and spiles or whatever that fiddly stuff is. I have heard serious conversations (which mostly bwent over my head) about making sure quality was maintained and I know from conversations that because of the large footfall in the Ship, Young's regard this as a flagship pub and keep a close eye on beer quality. In short, I wouldn't have a clue - wouldn't if my life depended on it, if you prefer, Stevieshears - but Young's seem to be very happy with the place, and why wouldn't they be?

Not that I care, particularly. I'm sure that Youngs are very happy with plenty of other pubs, pubs where the landlord would happily discuss the merits of synthetic vs. bamboo spigots with the 'discerning' punter. I just wouldn't be arsed drinking there.

I do drink in the Ship, though, and I'll tell you why. It's a beautfully kept and well turned out pub with staff that remember me. They do really good (if expensive) food, have quality live music, and the place is generally full of stunning-looking women, including behind the bar. The Guinness is good (for that is what I drink) and it's a truly great place to spend some sunny hours in the summer.

To paraphrase Jim Royle as interpreted by the great Ricky Tomlinson, 'disingenuous, my arse'.

I'm upping my rating for this pub to a 10 just to annoy the CAMRA members. Hammer that into your cask with your rubber mallet and smoke it.

29 Mar 2010 22:27

Orange Tree, Richmond

Had been keeping an eye on the reviews here but hadn't got around to posting until the previous reviewer's assessment of the Orange Tree needled me into responding.

Up until the end of 2009, this place used to have bouncers on the door. The implication, of course, is that entry to the Orange Tree was contingent on being allowed to by the guy with the radio and the bomber jacket and that, once inside, your continued presence was by their grace alone. This was enough to generally (but not always) exclude the Orange Tree from the pubs in which I seem to spend such an inordinately large amout of my hard-earned.

The bouncers disappeared as the management changed, and aside from still being heaving on a Saturday night, a midweek stop-by shows a definite improvement in the quaility of food and service, enought to warrant my going here on an increasingly regular basis recently.

The previous poster might well have seen a large head on a couple of pints or had to wait for a daydreaming staff member; I do, however, have to say that before last Saturday's England rugby international I managed to in and out to the bar in about thirty seconds flat when I couldn't even get near to the bar in other pubs. The setup was as efficient as I've ever seen in a packed pub.

What I do find it extraordinary the this experience was enough to slate the running of the pub, or indeed to refer to the barmaid as a 'young blonde tart'. I've been getting to know the staff here and all of them have been pleasant and polite and as concerned with good service as anyone in any customer-facing role should be. I've been enjoying watching the resurgence of this place and it's definitely on my list of regular haunts.

3 Mar 2010 15:54

The Ship Inn, Wandsworth

Now, I may be slightly cranky after a bad day at the office, I have to say, I find the comments on this page fascinating. I'm wondering if the amount of references to 'yuppies' and 'rah-rahs' and the type of cars parked up Jew's Row mean that either BITE has been hijacked by bolsheveiks, or if some organised band of Christmas-jumpered beer enthusiasts, outraged at having been expelled from CAMRA for extreme fundamentalism, have taken to exacting revenge on the pub industry by slating establishments whose internal lighting doesn't permit them to perform their favourite ceremony of holding up a pint of Bishop's Wanger to a candle flame and peering at it over their half-moon glasses.

The location of the Ship means that there is little passing trade: you have to go to this pub on purpose. The fact that this place has consistently large (ad exceptionally pert) crowds where other pubs nearby are struggling to get bums on seats (however corpulent) is a testament to this place. I am a regular here for various reasons; I get a "hello" from friendly and efficient staff who remember me and make an effort to pass the time of day. I can get a burger from the barbequeue or I can sit down and have quality restaurant standard food. The live music is of a consistently high quality and (feel free to call me names here) both the staff and clientele are significantly easier on the eye than other pubs in its class. One day I might even go and talk to one of them.

The place has a tendency to go bananas on Sunday nights, so if you are looking for a �6.99 carvery lunch and a read of the Daily Mail, it's probably not for you (not that there's anything wrong with that - so hard to find good value these days). As for that cask-conditioned, hand pumped, cellar conditioned sudsy dishwater that people in this country find so enthralling, you can go and raffle it.

I'm giving this place a 9. I'm witholding a mark until Charlie/Oisin assign me my own personal geisha girl to wait on me hand and foot for the evening in my own personal hammock, mopping my troubled brow with rose water and pressing cold bottles of beer into my hand so I don't have to lean over the side.

I think I need a cup of tea.

13 Jul 2009 20:43