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BITE user comments - muiramas

Comments by muiramas

The George and Dragon, Speldhurst

Been here once for a Sunday lunch. Its expensive - about £16. For a very small lunch. We had to wait an hour between starters and main courses - I gave the staff 5 minutes to get our mains before we left which got it sorted. Complaints aside, seems expensive for what you get - will not come back. Looks pretty - but average in every other respect. Go to The Hare in Langton Green 5 minutes up the road.

1 Dec 2013 14:13

The Wiremill, Lingfield

Ok for a pint, food is bloody awful.

First of all, I've been here a few times. I don't like it when folks get angry and write a lousy review saying somewhere is crap because their rare steak got over cooked the one and only time they went....

Anyway, overlooking a large lake, it's a relaxing place to enjoy a couple of pints, often with waterskiing taking place. It can get very busy, and if you're there after sunset, watch out for the flies and Mosquitos. The owners could probably spend some more time in keeping this area tidy though - there is a lot of guano on the chairs and tables which never seems to be cleaned up. The beer is actually good, some guest ales are of a random quality, but guest ales always are.

The place looks great, and promises so much, but has never really delivered a good meal. I have eaten here three times - I wanted so much to like it, the first time was ok, the second not wonderful, and the third time was even worse.

The menu has been written by the scriptwriter of A Clockwork Orange. Chips are 'Chippies' and Chicken is 'chick chick chicken'. The fish are 'tickled'. Duck is 'Ducky'. It also says the chefs are 'somewhat mad' - this is correct; the menu is created by the head chef 'Jason' - he's referenced on the menu - 4 times, on the blackboards, website and so on.

The menu describes what you would expect from a pub, with an occasional random main course from somewhere overseas. Jason, (in case you missed it) wants to create something special with a 'twist' to all of these, but fails; Classic mains often have a wild and fey interpretation, and the occasional foray into more international food is frankly, bonkers. The food is often way to complex and way way too over spiced.

'Posh' ham egg and chips, for example - is a kind of salty soggy pork burger drowned in a spicy tomato and onion sauce which completely overwhelms everything - apparently there was a poached egg in there somewhere - I couldn't taste it, and the chips were dowsed in chilli powder - why? It's rare that a meal containing just 3 ingredients can be so wrong. On that particular night I'm just glad I never ordered a Foraged Mushroom, Leak & Sorrel Strudel. This is another place which thinks its cool to give you your chips in a little metal bucket - I can't wait for that trend to come to an end. The fish and chips are about as greasy as you can find - anywhere, and they throw some newspaper on the plate as well (Metro).

There are a few other things to avoid - the beef Wellington is always overcooked to the point where it cannot be accessed with cutlery, and the South African fish stew, which is an unholy combination of aquatic matter, and too many spices is to be ignored unless you are some kind of maniac. And that's just what I've tried. It's difficult to put into words quite how bad some of this stuff is.

Kids food is poorly considered - fish and chips is an off cut of an adult portion containing, you guessed it - bones. If you've got kids and you want them to reach adulthood, don't feed them in here. (Seriously.)

Hospitality is reasonable enough, though don't try and question anyone about the quality of the food or the chefs interpretation of a portion of chips. Sorry, its worth mentioning again; Chilli powder on the chips for gods sake. Did I ask for chilli fries? No. I asked for Ham, Egg and Chips.

Good pub food is simple, well put together, with the better pubs being more creative in combining traditional and appropriate world cuisine with great execution. The chefs here can do none of that; They are very much in the category of thinking they have good ideas and can cook, but they don't and they cant. The use of spices in food is a subtle art or at its basic level, at least sensible, and it is not done here.

Is this harsh? Yes, but it's also true. A family meal in a place like this can cost upward of a days salary for a lot of people. That's a very big ask for what this place gives back in return.

12 Jul 2013 20:32

The Queens Head, Chislehurst

2/10 and competing with The Bickley for the worst Pub in Chislehurst. Nothing about this place is good, apart from there being plenty of other places to eat on the high street, hence I award a lofty 2 for location.

2 Dec 2012 11:25

The Hare, Langton Green

This is a good food pub. Prices are perhaps a little on the steep side, but compares well with the others in the area. For just a drink with Friends, not so great.

An average selection of beers, nothing remarkable - enough to keep folk happy.

Food is consistently good, as is the service, and you can find one of Kent's better Sunday Lunches here. Its a good family pub, plenty of space, and other reviewers comments about no children's menu are not accurate - everything is available in child's portions and they will happily make any kids food to order.

Nice garden with a field makes it particularly enjoyable in the Summer. I've been here around 9 times now, and each time has been fine, never any problems, so a good consistent Pub.

2 Dec 2012 11:17

The Bickley, Chislehurst

Call this a Pub?! There is nothing on tap here. Nothing. You can buy bottled beer for about £5 a bottle (330ml) or you can have wine, which is clearly the type of place that this place tries to be. Problem is the wine list is nothing special.

Pop in for a casual drink during an evening in the week and you'll be asked to leave at around 9.30 - the place is not generating enough money to pay for staff twiddling their thumbs. This place is empty.

Food is as overpriced as the beer, and the wine, and slightly more disappointing. Picture simply asking for some chips, and then getting about 1/4 as much as you would anywhere else, in a little metal bucket. Why? Just ...why? The rest of the menu? Same kind of things apply.

This place aims to be a Gastro pub and its dressed up as one, but it has nothing to offer.

2 Dec 2012 11:08

The Chaser, Shipbourne

This is a beautiful food pub in a beautiful setting.

Unfortunately, this place can be a little busy - often good to book in advance which can take away the pleasure of a spontaneous visit.

Some of the best pub food I have ever had, although as a minor gripe, perhaps the menu could do with more seasonal changes - I guess because it's always busy, it may be a case of if it aint broke dont fix it...

Genuinely a great place to eat, without trying to be a gastro pub. Also consider the sister pub - Little Brown Jug in Chiddingstone which often has a slightly better selection of ales, and serves bigger portions of the same delicious fayre.

27 Jun 2009 00:11

The Poacher, Tudeley

26 June 2009.
Stay away from here.

This pub was a recent discovery for my wife and I. We have been 3 times since February this year, and dined well on all of these occasions. Tonight was our fourth and it was a disaster.

The previous team have left, not quite sure who is in their place, but it's not working. Everything on the menu is either not on, or not as described - some dishes are completely different to their description. Tonight we had a meal for 4 people. Every single starter and main course was smaller than before, and prepared to a level of cooking that most 9 year old's would be embarrassed by.

Upon complaint, and there we're 3 other tables complaining (no one else in on this friday night...), what I can only assume is a temporary junior manager said that there we're agency chefs in at the moment, they are not familiar with the menu so they cant cook it as per the menu, and that he himself is shortly going to turn the place around with a new menu, with lots of salads, cocktails, etc.

You would have had to be there to understand the lack of conviction he projected.

He also said that the place had become run down, (anyone who has been there recently would have noticed that the decoration is both new and exquisite...) and that the 'old' menu was boring. Well, on the night it was he who was boring as well as a bit out of touch with reality to be saying this to customers who we're there because of the way this place used to be...

Its a shame when good pubs become bad - we've written this one off now. At least the Chaser Inn is not too far and still one of the best food pubs in the land...

26 Jun 2009 23:58

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