BITE user comments - Russell_Sprout
Comments by Russell_Sprout
The Bucket and Spade, Cleethorpes
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is Alpine lager. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Mind you I only drink Alpine lager to make other people seem more interesting, you will know what I mean if you have met my wife, Tina.
Along time ago my father said to me "Son, a woman is like a lager. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You want to drink another woman!� He was right, it was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.
After a good night out an �Irish Coffee� is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four of the essential food groups:- fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. I feel sorry for all those people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.
After coming home from the pub drunk the other night I came home to find my mother in law was visiting. The old witch said to me �Russell, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!� After thinking for a short while I replied and said. �Yes and if you were my wife, I would drink it!� I don�t really get on with her too well as you can probably tell.
I once saw six men punching and kicking my mother-in-law. The wife said; �Aren't you going to help?� I said; �No, six should be enough!�
One final thing, take a tip from me never accept a drink from a urologist!
9 Nov 2008 01:06
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is Alpine lager. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Mind you I only drink Alpine lager to make other people seem more interesting, you will know what I mean if you have met my wife, Tina.
Along time ago my father said to me "Son, a woman is like a lager. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You want to drink another woman!� He was right, it was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.
After a good night out an �Irish Coffee� is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four of the essential food groups:- fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. I feel sorry for all those people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.
After coming home from the pub drunk the other night I came home to find my mother in law was visiting. The old witch said to me �Russell, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!� After thinking for a short while I replied and said. �Yes and if you were my wife, I would drink it!� I don�t really get on with her too well as you can probably tell.
I once saw six men punching and kicking my mother-in-law. The wife said; �Aren't you going to help?� I said; �No, six should be enough!�
One final thing, take a tip from me never accept a drink from a urologist!
9 Nov 2008 01:06
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is Alpine lager. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Mind you I only drink Alpine lager to make other people seem more interesting, you will know what I mean if you have met my wife, Tina.
Along time ago my father said to me "Son, a woman is like a lager. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You want to drink another woman!� He was right, it was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.
After a good night out an �Irish Coffee� is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four of the essential food groups:- fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. I feel sorry for all those people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.
After coming home from the pub drunk the other night I came home to find my mother in law was visiting. The old witch said to me �Russell, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!� After thinking for a short while I replied and said. �Yes and if you were my wife, I would drink it!� I don�t really get on with her too well as you can probably tell.
I once saw six men punching and kicking my mother-in-law. The wife said; �Aren't you going to help?� I said; �No, six should be enough!�
One final thing, take a tip from me never accept a drink from a urologist!
9 Nov 2008 01:05
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is Alpine lager. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Mind you I only drink Alpine lager to make other people seem more interesting, you will know what I mean if you have met my wife, Tina.
Along time ago my father said to me "Son, a woman is like a lager. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You want to drink another woman!� He was right, it was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.
After a good night out an �Irish Coffee� is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four of the essential food groups:- fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. I feel sorry for all those people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.
After coming home from the pub drunk the other night I came home to find my mother in law was visiting. The old witch said to me �Russell, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!� After thinking for a short while I replied and said. �Yes and if you were my wife, I would drink it!� I don�t really get on with her too well as you can probably tell.
I once saw six men punching and kicking my mother-in-law. The wife said; �Aren't you going to help?� I said; �No, six should be enough!�
One final thing, take a tip from me never accept a drink from a urologist!
9 Nov 2008 01:03
The Horse and Jockey Inn, Ossett
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.
7 Nov 2008 01:35
This is a public house is one that specializes in "real ales" and has forgotten that some menbers of the public like to drink "real lagers." What has happened to the free choice of the individual customer?
Have I not right to buy what I want to buy and not what the landlord wants to sell me, at a vastly inflated price.
I don't want to drink something that smells like the vomit of pigs!
9 Oct 2008 22:17
A typical "Wetherspoon's" establishment, full of the dregs of humanity who can't afford to drink anywhere else! Some of them probably drink "methalated spirits" for the few hours a day that this pub is closed.
The only thing in this place that didn't smell was the toilets.
Do yourself a favour and stay away!
9 Oct 2008 21:55
The Horse and Jockey Inn, Ossett
Called in last night after work for a few pots of Alpine lager. I noticed that beers are now "free flow" and taste better than they did before.
I can't believe that Colin and Monika are now managers of this pub, I remember seeing them in the Star Inn at Netherton a few months ago. I seem to be following them from pub to pub - not on purpose, I hasten to add.
If you need to micturate I would go somewhere else as the toilets are on the smelly side of sinking. This seems to be a typical complain in most of Samuel Smith's public houses. Maybe they should be called "Pubic Houses" instead!
9 Oct 2008 11:46
I wasn't too keen on the "Youngs" bitter. The rest of my visit to this pub was pleasent though. I shall go back when I visit the island again when I have got a little more time.
28 Jul 2008 04:04
The Bucket and Spade, Cleethorpes
A pleasant pub at the seaside and not too far from my caravan. The beer was well kept, the staff were friendly and the food was OK! I had a small accident and managed to drop my false teeth down the toilet after I had fished them out the beer tasted of bleech.
25 Jul 2008 03:14
The Horse and Jockey Inn, Ossett
I have visited this pub a few times and I think that it is a great pity that the manager, Julian, has been forced out of this public house by the area manager. Does the stunted troll not realize why so many of his pub managers have left.
Watch out for the scary man with a beard that's over a foot and a half long. I'm not convinced that he's human or maybe he just wants to replace Dusty Hill in ZZ Top.
May I take this oppertunity to wish Julian and Sandra good luck in their future careers.
25 Jul 2008 02:19
Nice to see a change of management, Andy and Sarah certainly know how to get a failing public house back on its feet.
The standard of the beers and lager has certainly improved. Someone should have told the previous manager and manageress what line cleaner is!
25 Jul 2008 01:55
The Angel and White Horse, Tadcaster
A very nice public house. The lager was certainly cheap enough; well it should be, because it tasted like the manageress had urinated in it.
I was in this establishment with my wife who had some kind of pie and chips to eat. This is because she is a pie eater and has the belly to prove it. She said that the food was "cooked" in a mircoware oven and pot noodles and lard would have tasted better. She sends her compliments to the microwave button presser.
On balance the highlight of my visit that I enjoyed the most was the smell of the toilets. Some peasant had deposited a pile of excetia on one of the toilet seats.
My compliments to mine hosts Monika and Colin.
25 Jul 2008 01:40
Back to Russell_Sprout's profile
The Angel and White Horse, Tadcaster
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is Alpine lager. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Mind you I only drink Alpine lager to make other people seem more interesting, you will know what I mean if you have met my wife, Tina.
Along time ago my father said to me "Son, a woman is like a lager. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You want to drink another woman!� He was right, it was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.
After a good night out an �Irish Coffee� is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four of the essential food groups:- fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. I feel sorry for all those people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.
After coming home from the pub drunk the other night I came home to find my mother in law was visiting. The old witch said to me �Russell, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!� After thinking for a short while I replied and said. �Yes and if you were my wife, I would drink it!� I don�t really get on with her too well as you can probably tell.
I once saw six men punching and kicking my mother-in-law. The wife said; �Aren't you going to help?� I said; �No, six should be enough!�
One final thing, take a tip from me never accept a drink from a urologist!
9 Nov 2008 01:07