The Goose, Camberley

Let me start off by actually complimenting this hooch haven, it's not bad. That is to say it doesn't suck like 90% of other boozerys in our beloved yokel town.
The beer is reasonably priced, and in plentiful supply in various types/forms/sizes. This however is where the love ends. Tragic.

Given that this is the only pub in Camberley you can speak and BE HEARD in, it has proved rather popular. Which then leads to a dilemma of poor seating, heaven forbid if you take Barry's chair without his consent. That was his Grandfather's I'll have you know you young roustabout. The clientel have been know to get very teratorial over such matters, and women have been seen to chase other women around the pub in fits of blind rage screaming obscenities. This is compounded by the door staff taking bets on whether "Trace" or "Charmane" will kick the snot out of the other. In short, watch your back.

Talking of your back, it's time to describe the bountiful toilet experience in this beer-o-ganza. On entering the "toilet", you'll find a thin covering of spewt, toilet water and piss lapping gently at your shoes - ladies, open toed shoes are bad for you in this instance. Cover them!
Should you manage to make it to the cubicle, or urinal - I'd pee with your heard turned. An unwatching back is a knifed back in this place. Worse yet, nobody likes getting bummed between pints. Watch it, you've been warned.

4 Jan 2006 16:01

Yates's, Camberley

Friday night, 9.30pm:

Upon entering this vile, teenager clad, dance pit you'll notice that you've become firmly attached to the carpet with the ever popular adhesive of last night's tart fuel and lady boy beer. If you manage to prise yourself from the floor, and saunter bar-wards (provided you're not knocked out by the teeming masses of ben sherman boys, keeper ring brigades, and elizabeth dukettes) you'll find a lengthy, labourious wait ahead of you. I would suggest taking something like a PSP or a book with you to keep you occupied, however the former is likely to get stolen and sold for heroin money and the former is likely to get you stabbed for looking the slightest bit intellectual.

In short, I would avoid this pub like the plague. It's a hole, plain and simple.

4 Jan 2006 15:42