Swan, Amersham

Having lunch at this pub was one of the worst culinary experiences we have had for some time. When we walked in no-one greeted us, despite someone who looked like the manager sitting doing his paperwork on a table in front of the bar.

Once we located someone to seat us we waited for anyone to come and give us menus or take a drinks order. It never came, so we went to the bar ourselves and asked for menus. Twice. When they did arrive we made our choices, asked for someone to take our orders and then we were listed what wasn't available on that Saturday. That was 75% of what we wanted to order. We reselected and ordered. Waited. After some time another waitress came and told us at least one of the items we had ended up ordering was, in fact, not available. I ordered a sandwich, which by this stage I didn't even want, but the pre-Christmas meal was getting spoiled so I went ahead just to choose something.

Then another waitress came up and told us sorry, in fact we had the wrong menus and 'we're not doing sandwiches today'. Not doing sandwiches? How laughable. I felt like going and offering to butter the bread myself. So I ordered a ceasar salad, which I definitely didn't want and it turned up over-soaked in bottle ceasar sauce with some fried croutons. I can't remember the exact price, but it was over �6 for this.

Meanwhile the kids were moving around, thoroughly bored by now. We noticed poorly done and cheap renovations, including something downright dangerous near our table. The boxing over pipes by the end of the table was ripped off with nails sticking out. The carpet near our table was filthy.

Once the food was successfully ordered it arrived fairly quickly and was ok, but nothing better than mediocre. I don't think we were ever served a drink, and went up to the bar, where we saw the manager-like person pouring over spreadsheets and not observing anything else.

People of Amersham, come on! You deserve better than this poorly run, character stripped place. When we left we were asked by someone visiting Amersham if we could recommend somewhere for lunch. We said, "not here".

23 Jan 2008 21:45