The Marlborough, Richmond

Very disappointing. Group of us arrived on a hot Sunday lunchtime, hungry and thirsty after a cycle ride. You would have thought that a place like this would have been the perfect place to stop for lunch, but you would be wrong. I waited for ever at the bar to be served a few beers, if we hadn�t been a large group I would certainly have bailed after about 10 minutes waiting. The bar staff consisted of two pretty young girls who seemed to do everything in ultra slow motion (�who�s next please?�), and one arty designer looking chap with impressively creative facial hair, but who was slowly chewing gum all the time with his mouth wide open and slobbering, rather like watching a tumble drier with the door open. Absolutely disgusting, a few of us were just waiting for his chewing gum or dribble to fall into someone�s beer. Most people at the bar were making jokes about the loooooong wait, but frankly it was just rubbish.
When we asked about ordering food, we were told with a straight face that it would be an hour�s wait. There was no table service in the garden, no waiting staff scurrying about making sure everyone was being looked after, which you would sort of expect in a family pub this busy on a Sunday lunchtime.
Because there were quite a few of us and we had all parked and locked our bikes up outside, we were sort of stuck, but it was too slow and painful trying to get any food and drink. A number of our group eventually went to the shop next door and came back with bottles of wine, and a picnic which we then sat and ate. Needless to say, nobody complained to us about this simply because none of the staff were interested enough to speak to us at all.
The pub garden is absolutely rammed with achingly cool yummy mummies and their boden-clad offspring, but even for them the place was most unwelcoming with signs around the place stating that �Customers whose children make too much noise will be asked to leave�.
I�m not sure at all what this place is � a kindergarten for Richmonds beautiful set and their beautiful children to take photographs of each other, perhaps? If you want a pint and something to eat, take a sleeping bag and your toothbrush. And would someone please tell razor beard behind the bar that�s it�s stomach churning to watch him slathering and chewing his gum whilst serving customers. Too cool by half this place, never again.

28 Sep 2009 06:21