The Five Bells, Chailey

What can I say? We arrived and it wasn't particularly busy, but it was 20 minutes before the larger than life pompous prat of a manager even acknowledged us. We were informed that most of the menu was sold out, so we had all of about 3 mains to choose from.

I had a steak, my wife had fish and chips. The chef has clearly got no idea on how to cook a steak medium rare as mine had been taken far beyond well done and had no pink left. When I informed the landlord he laughed at me, took it back to the kitchen and brought it straight back out saying the chef thinks it's fine. My wife's fish and chips was clearly cooked in oil that wasn't hot enough as the fish was far overcooked (and FULL of bones) in a pathetically soggy anemic batter. The Harveys was cloudy, but we were told that it was fine (it wasn't). We couldnt help but overhear a torrent of foul language from the kitchen, with a complete disregard for the customers sitting 5 feet from the door. Eventually the landlord wandered out of the pub and drove off in his porsche cayenne (I guess that's where all the money in this pub is going) to do some shopping while a sour faced lady who I can only assume was his wife informed us that a badly cooked crap cut of steak, out of condition harveys and awful fish and chips should still be charged at full price. We informed her that such an attitude would make us seriously consider returning, and she said "Good, we don't need whinging ****s like you in here anyway".

I should also add that I suffered a terrible upset stomach as soon as I got home. I wouldn't send my worst enemy to this pub.

9 Jan 2012 20:19