skip nav  
 

BITE user profile - nosferatiattu

Profile information

Username: nosferatiattu

Age: 51

Sex: ?

Latest comments by nosferatiattu

The Black Horse, Wednesbury

i always enjoyed a few after work pints in this fine establishment ,but this evening was to be different ...an unfamiliar face caught my eye..the face of a veeeer fat an veer smelly younge fellow who was returning from the bar ,his arms crammed with various snacks including "pikki-yegs"..rots and supa- crunches
.he returned to his red velvette snug and lay his new acquisitions next to the "fruits de la mer' he had bought only moments ago from a chap in a white coat carrying a wicker basket
"...COR!!..SLURP..hee ,hee,hee.."he chortled to himself, and set about "gunching"the various foodstuffs on the small round table in front of him ,.
stopping only to take deep swigs from the 9 pints of brown cloudy ale crammed along with the snacks...
The whole spectacle lasted only minuets but seemed like hours as a deep satisfying belch broke my hypnotised state and the younge fellow rose to his feet and walked across the crowded room and emptied the massive contents of his stomach onto the nearby pool table and then proceeded in front of the horrified patrons to roll about on the green baize calling out
..."look at me Mr Chafaker! ..Im a little chicken,Im a little chicken!"
Thank goodness some one had called some of our local bobbies before the situation could get really bad, and the poor fellow was escorted off the premises and bundled into the back of a black maria with the help of a well executed blow to his 'caaarn livva"from one of the shifty eyed officers...oh it was a shluvly night.

12 Aug 2014 12:57

The Black Horse, Wednesbury

hey..so was on the way to the ":golden cup'' as recommended by mr p.daley( who had the voice of a man with 40 a day habit at the age of about 6).'.arrr the golden cup..aar the golden cup.the golden cup'..he recommended ...but dropped into this place when i found out the afore mentioned burned to matchwood in 1986..
so i found the very affable bouncer in his slightly off-white shirt and dicky loved a good old christmas sing -song and we were soon belting out a a rousing rendition of the classic "bahh maah thuu-uummb....bah may thumb nother..bah may thumb nother.."but unfortuionatly our christmas cheer seemed to irritate a "bucks fizz singer '( not mike nolan , the other one)...and he asked us to "strap Up! yah cheeky melts!" as he couldn't hear a word his AndRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR(breath)RRRRRRRRRRRRRea was saying!!!
So naturally, we pointed at him and sang "live it up" by "mental as anything" but this seemed to irritate him even more...So i left and did dione in an ally-way while a mongrel dog looked on,and my new found friend wrote "I LOVE YOU KERRY " in the yewsh snow.

25 Jul 2014 16:55

Ye Olde Leathern Bottel, Wednesbury

an intresting name and such a coincidence that i have up for sale ..'ye olde rubber Galen mask" which i nicked off a very dear friend many years ago whilst passing through his garden en route to the 'lokkies"...the mask is in 'Pre-loved condition"(well it was certainly pre-loved by him")..any way any expressions of interest look for me(i am the B.F.G pumping wads of cash into the fruit machine most days of the week.

20 Jul 2014 05:42

See all comments by nosferatiattu

Contact nosferatiattu

You need to be logged in to send a message to this user.

nosferatiattu has been registered on this site since 11th January 2009