The Angel and White Horse, Tadcaster

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is Alpine lager. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Mind you I only drink Alpine lager to make other people seem more interesting, you will know what I mean if you have met my wife, Tina.

Along time ago my father said to me "Son, a woman is like a lager. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You want to drink another woman!� He was right, it was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.

After a good night out an �Irish Coffee� is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four of the essential food groups:- fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. I feel sorry for all those people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.

After coming home from the pub drunk the other night I came home to find my mother in law was visiting. The old witch said to me �Russell, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!� After thinking for a short while I replied and said. �Yes and if you were my wife, I would drink it!� I don�t really get on with her too well as you can probably tell.

I once saw six men punching and kicking my mother-in-law. The wife said; �Aren't you going to help?� I said; �No, six should be enough!�

One final thing, take a tip from me never accept a drink from a urologist!

9 Nov 2008 01:07

The Bucket and Spade, Cleethorpes

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is Alpine lager. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Mind you I only drink Alpine lager to make other people seem more interesting, you will know what I mean if you have met my wife, Tina.

Along time ago my father said to me "Son, a woman is like a lager. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You want to drink another woman!� He was right, it was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.

After a good night out an �Irish Coffee� is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four of the essential food groups:- fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. I feel sorry for all those people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.

After coming home from the pub drunk the other night I came home to find my mother in law was visiting. The old witch said to me �Russell, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!� After thinking for a short while I replied and said. �Yes and if you were my wife, I would drink it!� I don�t really get on with her too well as you can probably tell.

I once saw six men punching and kicking my mother-in-law. The wife said; �Aren't you going to help?� I said; �No, six should be enough!�

One final thing, take a tip from me never accept a drink from a urologist!

9 Nov 2008 01:06

Time Piece, Dewsbury

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is Alpine lager. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Mind you I only drink Alpine lager to make other people seem more interesting, you will know what I mean if you have met my wife, Tina.

Along time ago my father said to me "Son, a woman is like a lager. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You want to drink another woman!� He was right, it was a woman who drove me to drink and I never got the chance to thank her.

After a good night out an �Irish Coffee� is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four of the essential food groups:- fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. I feel sorry for all those people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.

After coming home from the pub drunk the other night I came home to find my mother in law was visiting. The old witch said to me �Russell, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!� After thinking for a short while I replied and said. �Yes and if you were my wife, I would drink it!� I don�t really get on with her too well as you can probably tell.

I once saw six men punching and kicking my mother-in-law. The wife said; �Aren't you going to help?� I said; �No, six should be enough!�

One final thing, take a tip from me never accept a drink from a urologist!

9 Nov 2008 01:06