please note - reviews on this site are purely the opinion of site visitors, so don't take them too seriously.
It is an experience, on that I think everyone is agreed. They doo a variety of ales in varying conditions. Watched three police cars and a mob truck pull up at about 1pm one Saturday to take away one man. Brilliant. Up until about two years ago you were lucky if a urinal worked. Oh yes, there is despair, mobility scooters, toothless old man, scrotes, chavs, scumbags, deadbeats, men who will bleat for hous about the 'bitch who ruined their life', ex-cons, tag wearers, the smell of death and stale piss - but I'll tell you what, staggering off the northern line at 11.30pm after eight hours on the beer and thinking you want a closer and finding only £1.85 in your pocket and not sure you can operate a cash machine, this place is your only hope. Having read all this, I'm off to the Tooting spoons. Rock on.
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Lovely blonde barmaid in there on sunday
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A complete and utter shitehole.
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Ok a lot of reviews talk about the less than repreable clientel. Well it's true taht the snatcehs of over heard conversation I've heard include talk about 'time inside' and 'people shoiwing me respect' etc. Yeah the inside still reeks of smoke despite the smoking ban being in place for months. Yeah it does do wine on tap (never a good sign) yeah most of the guys inside have only one black tooth left and the only women you'll find inside look like guys so it's not the best. BUT it's a weatherspoons for god's sake what do you expect? The bar staff have never been less than friendly to me, whilst the guys who come into the bar look like they might stab you or collapse at any time they've always been pretty friendly too and a lot less likely to look down their noses at you if you didn't go to Eton. The Sunday roast is cheap and tasty with a good portion of meat too. This place makes a refreshing change from the other places in Balham as it does add a little variety to it. OK I wouldn't go in on a Friday or Saturday night after 9 but overall its cheap, good selection of beers and provides exactly what it says on the tin.
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Expect to see three or four "mobility scooters" parked outside at 10 in the morning.
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Went there and was confronted by a man with a solitary tooth and another wearing homer simpson slippers. I would rather have bowel surgery in the woods with a stick than go there again. Cheap drinks though. I recommend strong spirits if you intend to stay.
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Does it have Setanta?
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a fairly friendly place.
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This place just gets worse - it's started opening at 9 in the morning and judging by the state of affairs earlier today there's no shortage of punters willing to take advantage of this
Despicable
anonymous - 1 Sep 2007 10:36 |
Well a Wetherspoons is a Wetherspoons. There's certainly a latent menace in the place but it's changed completely since the smoking ban when you couldn't see from one end of it to the other.
Still, £2.50 for a pint of Stella and a really quite good English Breakfast for £2.10 - can't complain really.
I think in all the times I've ever been in there I've only seen about three females, this really is the denizen of the older Balham males. Go in there under about 30 and you will feel out of place.
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I thought places like this were stuff of legends, it is so bad I thought I was on the set of Shameless. You only go to a place like this to spend your war pension, get murdered, murder someone else, get food poisoning, trip out on the toxic smells in the gents or to find that last minute inspiration to top yourself. You have been warned.
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This place is amazing.
All you ponces and snobs forget that this place houses all the dredgery that you don't want in the pubs you drink in.....and you call yourselves clever?
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As an ex-Balhamite, just had to visit it once, just to see if all these ghastly reviews were true... And by golly, are they spot on the mark! Absolutely awful. Felt like I needed a shower as I walked out.
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This is without doubt the worst pub in Balham, populated by low-life scum. It's also one of the worst pubs in Greater London. I think a campaign should be started to have the place closed down.
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Wonderful pub filled with charming customers and keen attentive staff. Ale is good and reasonably priced and there is an extensive and innovative cocktail list which always provides a nice surprise. Food menu is limited but quality is excellent and won't cost you an arm and a leg.
Only joking. This is a total sh1thole and not fit for humans to eat/drink in. If you ignore this warning and decide to go then make sure you wear a stab-proof jacket and have eyes in the back of your head. Full of losers, alcoholics and general scumbags. The only thing that would make me return is if I owned a flamethrower.
Stay away at all costs!
9/10 - Good Pub Guide (p1ss soaked tramp edition)
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Nice place for a fair priced drink, lots of regulars, good atmosphere and great food
anonymous - 25 Aug 2006 02:31 |
Typical wetherspoons. Smells of old men, pis, satle bber, and terrible service. Avoid like the plague.
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Pikey paradise - a motley collection of drunks and lowlife. Never actually seen any violence in here but always seems to be bubbling just under the surface.
Beer's cheap but that is outweighed by the awful ambience
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I've been here a few times over the years for a cheap quick one on the way to somewhere else, but it never gets any better, only worse. If you like starting fights with complete strangers for no particular reason, then you will find many like minded enthusiasts here.
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I decided to chance it the other day after a bad tube trip. When I opened the door the reek of despair was palpable.(The Tooting spoon, by comparison, has only a whiff of hopelessness).
Loud and rowdy I can deal with.. quiet menace, on the other hand...
To be fair, I didn't stop for that drink and almost longed again to be shoe-horned back onto that tube with the more familiar smell of B.O.,wet wool and city girls.
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I opened the door, and looked in. I closed the door, and went on my way. Enough said there I think.
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Some harsh reviews I feel. I rather enjoy it in here. Especially when your not by yourself as most of the reviewers seem to have been. When you just want a drink, an honest to goodness simple drink, and you dont want to spend £3+, its the place to be. For my own part I rather like the Dickensian feel to the place, guys doing the rounds with dodgy dvd etc. and a rowdy chatter replacing the elevator jazz you get in many bars round here. I could imagine Bill Sykes sitting in the corner with Fagin. I'm not going to celibrate my birthday here, bring any family member here or become a regular, but sometimes you just want a bloody drink.
anonymous - 21 Feb 2006 22:59 |
I agree with Pigman. It's the only place I've ever been to where other customers call you a bastard just for being there. Also, the only pub to lock the fridge, then lose the key. It is an awful place, only saved by the friendly banter and atmosphere
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By far the best place in balham to make friends that you never wanted and to be sworn at by people that you dont know
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Absolutely rancid place, but as with all Wetherspoons, at least they do nice + well-priced beer.
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A spectacularly crap pub; that said, I'm afraid it's pipped to the post of doom by the car-crash that is the Tooting spoons.
Truly a pikey paradise.
The Moons, however, is a mess none the less. Possibly based on the fact that they'd serve someone with a dead cat under their arm and no shoes.
One of my lasting memories of the golden days was a drinking sesh in the Eclipse (now Blithe Spirit) when we were suddenly invaded by Moon regulars asking if they could come in "'cause someone had been stabbed and the ole' bill closed the bar........." Nice.
Do yourself a favour and resist the tube/overground proximity. All the other pubs in Balham are better and you really can't be THAT thirsty!
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A regular tells me that some of the more violent customers have been barred but it's filling up with under-aged drinkers. So I called in last weekend. It's true! - Some of these people can't be more than 14 and they all seem to get served. I had 1 pint and left .
It remains - by far - the worst pub in Balham. Might be worth a visit just for a masochistic laugh.
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ooooh yeah,..done this one too,..when the sutton bound train conked out round Balham,...Was brilliantly depressing for a sunday night i can tell ya,..it looked like it had experienced a minor earthquake when i walked in,..more horizontal glasses than vertical ones,......3 fruities and a few people kipping if i remember rightly. It up there with the shittiest of "the spoons" that i have experienced
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absolutely despicable place...went there once to escape the GF....never again. seen police meatwagons turn up there in the middle of a weekday afternoon to arrest punters for fighting
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In an age full of over-priced drinks, the Moon is a welcome relief. As long as you can get over the dingy toilets, strange named own-brand drinks and stressed staff you can have a good night in an old style feeling boozer with money left in your wallet at the end of the evening
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Its what a local was like years ago keep an open mind. not just full of drunks. a few locals as well, If you want a sad pub try the balham tup around the corner full of bahamites drinking warm beer in plastc glasses
anonymous - 24 Feb 2005 23:33 |
i went to this pub on new years day a few years ago (no-where else was open at 11am) and saw some pikey order a bloody mary and a pint glass, he then droped his drugs on the floor, when he bent down to pick them up three cans of special brew fell out of his jacket pocket.
worth a visit to laugh at how ugly the regulars are, otherwise avoid like the plaugue.
hughc - 14 Jan 2005 12:20 |
I tend not to believe other users' comments about pubs - but in this case the below are absolutely spot on. I don't know about rough - just full of sad old drunks. Avoid.
Nick - 16 Oct 2004 16:41 |
The only redeeming feature of this pub is the beer prices. There are so many drunks inside that it is really intimidating, and there are now a group of drunks outside on a bench as well. Add to this the occasional kid crying outside as his parents have been in there all day, and you've got an example of why some councils don't want to encourage Wetherspoons!
anonymous - 28 Sep 2004 18:02 |
its great! love a good old swag with the drunks and is not full of wannabes
john read - 25 Aug 2004 16:05 |
Full of drunks, loud music and, plasma screens. I can't take it for more than 1 pint so miss the action - of which there is quite a lot. Have seen the blood being cleaned off the floor a couple of times though. Amazingly, they seem to continue to serve the combatants! Beer range not quite as good as many Wetherspoons. Overall, it's ghastly. Certainly the roughest house in Balham.
Ian - 8 Jul 2004 21:44 |
I used to frequent this place ten years ago - but stopped around 1996 when the ultra-low beer prices meant it just filled up with drunks. (The staff were pretty surly back then as well...) Be interested to hear what folk think of it now?
Jez - 4 Jun 2004 10:20 |
